To The Sentimental Girl Who's Not So Good At Goodbye

To The Sentimental Girl Who's Not So Good At Goodbye

"How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard." - Winnie the Pooh

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Psst! Hey, you! Yeah, you, the sweet and sensitive girl with laughing wrinkles in the corner of her eyes. The girl who's cheeks flush whenever someone says her name. I know you feel some pain behind that quiet demeanor. And I know you feel endless amounts of love behind that reserved face of yours. I know you feel lots of things that you don't always show, and I know that being sensitive in such a fast-paced world can leave you feeling left behind, but I promise you that you're emotions do not make you weak.

I'm like you. I think too much and say too little and sometimes I feel like my body can't contain all the thoughts and feelings that are swirling around inside me. And I know how frustrating it can be to feel so deeply, especially in a world where so many things are temporary, but don't be angry at yourself for being a sensitive soul.

You are so incredibly special because when you love, you love fully and wholeheartedly. You don't cut corners or only dip your toes in the water, you dive right in, fully immersing yourself into the things and the people that you love. And caring to that depth can be such a blessing, but it can also be dangerous for people like us. As is the way of the world, the people we place in our hearts don't stay there forever, and for us sentimentalists, saying goodbye can be one of the hardest parts of life.

Goodbyes are devastating for big-hearted people like you and me. When sensitive souls love something, or someone, or a combination of the two, we don't want to let go. We want to hold on forever and keep the things we love close to our hearts. But, for better or for worse, the things we love aren't permanent. Life is a series of evolvement. We grow into new molds, shed our old skins, develop in a million little ways every day, and the things we love can't always keep up with us. They're changing and evolving and growing, too. And when those crossroads come and we must journey down a different path from the things we love, we have to let go.

It's going to hurt, yes. Being sentimental, we like to hold onto things, to keep them safely tucked under our wing away from harm, but the things and the people we love are not ours to manage. They are free spirits, just like you, and it would be more painful to try and hold each other back when your lives take different routes than to just let go.

The distance is painful, yes. That comfort that you held close to your heart leaves an empty space, but remember what I said: things aren't permanent. The pain is only temporary. As you continue to grow, you'll find new loves, new joys, and new desires. You'll plant seeds in the open spaces of your heart as you explore, and they will grow and flourish into new comforts that will blossom and create beauty in your life. They won't replace the loves you left behind, but they'll remind you that your heart is so big that there's enough room in it for all kinds of people and places and things.

Goodbyes are the worst tragedies for those of us with sentimental hearts, but we can ease the pain by knowing that life doesn't have any endings, only new beginnings. We may have to leave the places we love or say goodbye to the people we hold most dear or give up the things that we believe to define us, but this life is too grand to be spent in one place. Physically we have to say goodbye at least once every so often, that's just how life is, but you have to understand that the memories and the experiences that we've gained from those that we love will remain with us forever no matter how far apart our paths may wander.

And sometimes, if you're very lucky, your old loves will be waiting for you at the next crossroads, eager to take a place in your growing and flourishing heart again. Yes, it's true that nothing is permanent, but the things that really matter always have a way of finding us again.

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21 Quotes From Twyla Tharp's 'The Creative Habit' That Will Fuel Your Artistic Self

Use your half-baked ideas for good!

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Twyla Tharp is a master dancer and choreographer. She's worked with the world's most prestigious artists to create works that will withstand the test of time. She published her book "The Creative Habit" as a viewing window for seeing into her creative process. Tharp offers both hard truths and gently encouraging words for both serious artists and everyday people just trying to expand their circle of knowledge about art. I compiled some quotations from the book that were profound, useful and to-the-point when it comes to examining artistic development.

1. "Creativity is not just for artists. It's for businesspeople looking for a new way to close a sale; it's for engineers trying to solve a problem; it's for parents who want their children to see the world in more than one way."

You get some creativity! YOU get some creativity! Everyone gets creativity!

2. "If art is the bridge between what you see in your mind and what the world sees, then skill is how you build that bridge."

3. "Everything that happens in my day is a transaction between the external world and my internal world. Everything is raw material. Everything is relevant. Everything is usable. Everything feeds into my creativity."

4. "In the end, there is no one ideal condition for creativity. What works for one person is useless for another. The only criterion is this: Make it easy on yourself. Find a working environment where the prospect of wrestling with your muse doesn't scare you, doesn't shut you down."

5. "Someone has done it before? Honey, it's all been done before. Nothing's really original. Not Homer or Shakespeare and certainly not you. Get over yourself."

Ouch. Toes stepped on.

6. "Metaphor is the lifeblood of all art, if it is not art itself. Metaphor is our vocabulary for connecting what we're experiencing to what we have experienced before."

"It's *literally* like this..."

7. "...get busy copying. Traveling the paths of greatness, even in someone else's footprints, is a vital means to acquiring skill."

Choose your muse wisely!

8. "You can't just dance or paint or write or sculpt. Those are just verbs. You need a tangible idea to get you going. The idea, however minuscule, is what turns the verb into a noun..."

9. "When you're in scratching mode, the tiniest microcell of an idea will get you going. Musicians know this because compositions rarely come to them whole and complete. They call their morsels of inspiration lines or riffs or hooks or licks. That's what they look for when they scratch for an idea."

You know you look crazy, but press on, baby ideas in hand!

10. "It doesn't matter if it's a book, magazine, newspaper, billboard, instruction manual, or cereal box -- reading generates ideas, because you're literally filling your head with ideas and letting your imagination filter them for something useful."

"Alexa, play the Reading Rainbow theme song."

11. "...there's a fine line between good planning and overplanning. You never want the planning to inhibit the natural evolution of your work."

Screw this global need for instant information. You gotta just let things run their course sometimes.

12. "Habitually creative people are, in E.B. white's phrase, 'prepared to be lucky.' You don't get lucky without preparation, and there's no sense in being prepared if you're not open to the possibility of a glorious accident. In creative endeavors luck is a skill."

Twyla Tharp is really just a more Type A version of Bob Ross.

13. "I know it's important to be prepared, but at the start of the process this type of perfectionism is more like procrastination. You've got to get in there and do."

14. "You're only kidding yourself if you put creativity before craft. Craft is where our best efforts begin. You should never worry that rote exercises aimed at developing skills will suffocate creativity."

15. "That's what the great ones do: They shelve the perfected skills for a while and concentrate on their imperfections."

16. "Without passion, all the skill in the world won't lift you above your craft. Without skill, all the passion in the world will leave you eager but floundering. combining the two is the essence of the creative life."

17. "My heroes are those who've prevailed over far greater losses than I've ever had to face."

18. "Part of the excitement of creativity is the headlong rush into action when we latch onto a new idea. Yet, in the excitement, we often forget to apply pressure to the idea, poke it, challenge it, push it around, see if it stands up. Without that challenge, you never know how far astray your assumptions may have taken you."

19. "...there's a lesson here about finding your groove. Yes, you can find it via a breakthrough in your craft. But you can also find it in other means -- in congenial material, in a perfect partner, in a favorite character or comfortable subject matter."

20. "A math professor at Williams College bases ten percent of his students' grades on failure. Mathematics is all about trying out new ideas -- new formulas, theorems, approaches -- and knowing that the vast majority of them will be dad ends. To encourage his students not to be afraid of testing their quirkiest ideas in public, he rewards rather than punishes them for coming up with wrong answers."

This approach would've been so helpful.

21. "I began as a dancer, and in those days of pain and shock I went back to where I started. Creating dance is the thing I know best. It is how I recognize myself. Even in the worst of times, such habits sustain, protect, and, in the most unlikely way, lift us up."

Take Twyla's knowledge and have fun exploring creativity in your personal life!

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