Why Goodbyes Are Hard But Not Permanent

To The Sentimental Girl Who's Not So Good At Goodbye

"How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard." - Winnie the Pooh

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Psst! Hey, you! Yeah, you, the sweet and sensitive girl with laughing wrinkles in the corner of her eyes. The girl who's cheeks flush whenever someone says her name. I know you feel some pain behind that quiet demeanor. And I know you feel endless amounts of love behind that reserved face of yours. I know you feel lots of things that you don't always show, and I know that being sensitive in such a fast-paced world can leave you feeling left behind, but I promise you that you're emotions do not make you weak.

I'm like you. I think too much and say too little and sometimes I feel like my body can't contain all the thoughts and feelings that are swirling around inside me. And I know how frustrating it can be to feel so deeply, especially in a world where so many things are temporary, but don't be angry at yourself for being a sensitive soul.

You are so incredibly special because when you love, you love fully and wholeheartedly. You don't cut corners or only dip your toes in the water, you dive right in, fully immersing yourself into the things and the people that you love. And caring to that depth can be such a blessing, but it can also be dangerous for people like us. As is the way of the world, the people we place in our hearts don't stay there forever, and for us sentimentalists, saying goodbye can be one of the hardest parts of life.

Goodbyes are devastating for big-hearted people like you and me. When sensitive souls love something, or someone, or a combination of the two, we don't want to let go. We want to hold on forever and keep the things we love close to our hearts. But, for better or for worse, the things we love aren't permanent. Life is a series of evolvement. We grow into new molds, shed our old skins, develop in a million little ways every day, and the things we love can't always keep up with us. They're changing and evolving and growing, too. And when those crossroads come and we must journey down a different path from the things we love, we have to let go.

It's going to hurt, yes. Being sentimental, we like to hold onto things, to keep them safely tucked under our wing away from harm, but the things and the people we love are not ours to manage. They are free spirits, just like you, and it would be more painful to try and hold each other back when your lives take different routes than to just let go.

The distance is painful, yes. That comfort that you held close to your heart leaves an empty space, but remember what I said: things aren't permanent. The pain is only temporary. As you continue to grow, you'll find new loves, new joys, and new desires. You'll plant seeds in the open spaces of your heart as you explore, and they will grow and flourish into new comforts that will blossom and create beauty in your life. They won't replace the loves you left behind, but they'll remind you that your heart is so big that there's enough room in it for all kinds of people and places and things.

Goodbyes are the worst tragedies for those of us with sentimental hearts, but we can ease the pain by knowing that life doesn't have any endings, only new beginnings. We may have to leave the places we love or say goodbye to the people we hold most dear or give up the things that we believe to define us, but this life is too grand to be spent in one place. Physically we have to say goodbye at least once every so often, that's just how life is, but you have to understand that the memories and the experiences that we've gained from those that we love will remain with us forever no matter how far apart our paths may wander.

And sometimes, if you're very lucky, your old loves will be waiting for you at the next crossroads, eager to take a place in your growing and flourishing heart again. Yes, it's true that nothing is permanent, but the things that really matter always have a way of finding us again.

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The Truth About Young Marriage

Different doesn't mean wrong.
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When I was a kid, I had an exact picture in my mind of what my life was going to look like. I was definitely not the kind of girl who would get married young, before the age of 25, at least.

And let me tell you, I was just as judgmental as that sentence sounds.

I could not wrap my head around people making life-long commitments before they even had an established life. It’s not my fault that I thought this way, because the majority opinion about young marriage in today’s society is not a supportive one. Over the years, it has become the norm to put off marriage until you have an education and an established career. Basically, this means you put off marriage until you learn how to be an adult, instead of using marriage as a foundation to launch into adulthood.

When young couples get married, people will assume that you are having a baby, and they will say that you’re throwing your life away — it’s inevitable.

It’s safe to say that my perspective changed once I signed my marriage certificate at the age of 18. Although marriage is not always easy and getting married at such a young age definitely sets you up for some extra challenges, there is something to be said about entering into marriage and adulthood at the same time.

SEE ALSO: Finding A Husband In College

Getting married young does not mean giving up your dreams. It means having someone dream your dreams with you. When you get lost along the way, and your dreams and goals seem out of reach, it’s having someone there to point you in the right direction and show you the way back. Despite what people are going to tell you, it definitely doesn’t mean that you are going to miss out on all the experiences life has to offer. It simply means that you get to share all of these great adventures with the person you love most in the world.

And trust me, there is nothing better than that. It doesn’t mean that you are already grown up, it means that you have someone to grow with.

You have someone to stick with you through anything from college classes and changing bodies to negative bank account balances.

You have someone to sit on your used furniture with and talk about what you want to do and who you want to be someday.

Then, when someday comes, you get to look back on all of that and realize what a blessing it is to watch someone grow. Even after just one year of marriage, I look back and I am incredibly proud of my husband. I’m proud of the person he has become, and I’m proud of what we have accomplished together. I can’t wait to see what the rest of our lives have in store for us.

“You can drive at 16, go to war at 18, drink at 21, and retire at 65. So who can say what age you have to be to find your one true love?" — One Tree Hill
Cover Image Credit: Sara Donnelli Photography

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Summer And Jobs

Working summers doesn't have to be tedious.

Aasayed
Aasayed
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Like many other college students, I was ready for summer but was kinda bummed that I had to work. Its not that I didn't like where I was working, I actually was really lucky to be working in a hospital environment but I just hated being alone all summer from 9-5. I've had this job for a few years now and a few other paid interns came and went but I never really connected with any of them. This year is different though.

I got really lucky to have another intern work with me that was very similar to me. The tasks we got were always simple but they were made to be more fun because I got to do them while talking with someone else. Now I actually enjoy and look forward to going to work.

The key to finding a good job is finding one that you enjoy doing and one that will help you gain knowledge that will help you out with future career plans. Working with friends also make tasks enjoyable! I would be careful with working with your friend however because if your job needs you to be serious and focused, being around your best friends may distract you from that.

Another thing that definitely makes summer jobs more enjoyable are taking breaks! It is your summer vacation after all! I'm not saying don't take a day off just to sit around, but if you make plans with family and friends, take a Friday off and enjoy the warm weather and good company! Employers understand that us college students and on break and have lives, they are usually very lenient with days off!

If you have to do a summer job to make money to live off of or pay for college, the best thing to do is look at the big picture. If you don't enjoy your job but can't afford to quit, remember that the money if going to help you out a lot. Also, this job is probably only for the summer right? So it's not permanent my friend! Get through these annoying few weeks and you will be back at college, taking steps for a bigger and brighter future.

Summer jobs are tough, I know, but make the most of it! And don't forget to enjoy it whenever you can!!!

Aasayed
Aasayed

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