Before I left for college, people told me to cut my ties and start school single. "You do NOT want to find yourself in on a Friday night Skyping your boyfriend, I'll tell you that much. And you certainly don't want to be held back by some guy who isn't around to care."
For whatever stupid reason, I listened. They were convincing, and I thought that was exactly what I was supposed to do.
Yeah, long distance relationships suck. That's not a secret, and here's another: they're hard. And a lot of times, they're not fun. But whoever claimed the most amazing relationships in life came easily - was wrong. There are so many things I love about being in a long distance relationship even though it's difficult. Here are just a few:
1. Seeing them is like Christmas Day
You remember what it was like to count down the days until Mom came home from her work trip? How many weeks until spring break? How many months until summer vacation? Marking the days off the calendar until you start counting the minutes and hours too? Well, I can tell you there is absolutely nothing better than waking up and realizing today’s the day I get to finally hug my best friend.
2. You get to be independent when it counts
If I’ve realized anything in my college relationship, it’s that there’s plenty of time to be together if you truly mean that much to each other. Having time apart gives each of you the opportunity to discover who you are and what each of you want individually. Someone once told me, if you aren’t okay with doing your own thing even if it means a little time apart, one day you’ll wake up resenting each other. And no one wants to realize that’s what’s become of their relationship.
3. Discovering the simple things only distance can reveal
I’ve learned to value the things you can’t experience whenever you want. Their laugh when you get to see it, the warmth in their hand when you get to hold it, being able to sit next to them. Literally, just being able to be near them. Seeing them all the time, you take it for granted. But being apart makes you realize the simple things you miss.
4. Learning to be intentional in your arguments
You don’t have opportunities to be passive aggressive over the phone. Not being able to read each other’s reactions for weeks or months at a time, you learn to express when you're upset because avoiding them over text doesn’t get you much of anywhere. You figure it out because you have to listen, lessen your pride, and be more direct with your words. If I’ve learned anything at all, it’s that articulating exactly how you feel is a hell of a lot harder than you’d think and apologizing when you’re wrong goes a long way.
5. Realizing that what doesn’t kill you makes you both stronger
Personally, I don’t think truer words have been said. A lot of conscious and deliberate effort goes into long distance relationships and, believe me, it’s worth every interrupted phone call, scheduled visit, and distant drive you could imagine. Because just like Ed Sheeran says, “The worst things in life come free to us.” And personally, I agree because even though it's a lot of work, my LDR is priceless.
