Dec. 1st was my birthday, and several of my family members generously gave me money as opposed to gifts. In years past — when I was at home and had a part-time job — I would save my birthday money, tucking it safely away in my savings account for something spectacular in years to come, or I would use it as extra cash to spend on friend’s Christmas gifts.
This year, however, I decided I was sick of saving. Over the past 18 months, I have been setting aside most of my earned/gifted money for studying abroad and travels in Europe, but now that the deposits have been made and figures have been drawn up, I realize I have enough to afford the trip. This year, I decided, I would spend my birthday money on myself.
I got a gel manicure, bought myself a tasty sushi dinner, and went out for Starbucks two days in a row (three actually but the first time was for my free birthday drink so that doesn’t count, right?). I bought a new shirt (on sale), and a journal I’ve had my eyes on for a few months now (also on sale, thank you cyber Monday). At the end of my spending-spree, I felt good, excited for all the things I had gotten and eaten and done — but then the buyer’s remorse set in.
What was I thinking, spending all that money? I could have saved that! It could have been a weekend hostel stay in Italy, a train to Barcelona, an extra trip to Paris. Now it’s gone, and on what, a manicure that will be gone in two weeks and some pretty good food? I berated myself for a few days, questioning how I could be so wasteful of something that I am so blessed to have — and then my roommate brought up her own, very similar, problems with money.
She works at a ropes course, which means she’ll work a few six to 12 hour days and get paid in lump sums. Every time she gets paid, she puts it in her savings account, and only takes money out when she needs it. Even with that policy, she finds herself — like I do — getting caught between two mindsets: you spend money on things that make you happy, or you save money for things that you’ll want later. The catch is this, when we spend money, we feel guilty for not saving, and when we save money, we feel stupid for just letting it all sit there in our bank account. We’re both caught up in some weird limbo between hoarding our money under our mattresses and blowing it all on food.
Of course, now comes the moment when all the responsible, more knowledgable adults would tell us to budget our earnings, spend a little, save a little, etc, etc. Even then, how much do we save, how much do we spend? How do we get rid of the guilt we feel every time we swipe our cards or drive through McDonald's?
For me, it comes down to more of a goal-setting mindset than strict budgeting. Like a diet, it’s harder to stick to if you don’t give yourself some wiggle room. If I have a specific goal in mind — a certain thing or trip or event I’m saving for — then I consider it before I make any unnecessary purchases, and I make sure I’m putting money away for it whenever I can. The one thing that I never do is take money back out of my savings account, no matter how much I want to have dinner with anyone, or how cute (and on sale) that J. Crew bracelet is.
At the end of the day, it comes down to weighing your priorities and not shaming yourself for wanting nice things, or spending on little things that make you happy. If saving for your future home, or wedding, or 401k is a big priority to you now, then by all means, start saving up — but if it’s not, and the priciest thing you’re considering is a night out with your friends, then go for it. Money might be the root of all evil, but it’s not the source of all happiness: don’t feel pressured by the fear of missing out if you want to save your money, and don’t let that fear convince you that you have to spend it, either. Do what you want with your money — whether it’s earned or it’s given to you, it’s yours.
Most importantly, don’t forget to be thankful for what you have, and realize how lucky you are to have what you do.
