“Please come in Mr. Sanders.” “Wh…what’s with the EEG caps, if I may ask?” “Don’t mind them, please…sit.” “I’d rather stand Mr. President." “As you wish.” The president said, with a snap of his finger.
“Jesus!” The Berner shrieked as a pair of cuffs bolted his feet to the floor. “What sorcery is this?!”
“Welcome…” a voice echoed from the other side of the room. “I have been expecting you.” A hologram appeared before him, emulating from a laptop on the end of the table: a sinister caricature obscured behind what appeared to be Emperor Palpatine’s cloak. Only the cloak’s possessor was a creature far more twisted; a presence that was nothing but pure evil in its true devilish form.
The Berner’s eyes lit up in terror as the creature revealed itself; a revolting beast with an appearance that would make Satan tremble in fear.
“You vile witch!” he shouted as the creature’s foul laugh echoed off the walls. “I knew you were behind this!” The Berner continued as his eyes stung from the rotten stench torturing his nostrils. Even as a hologram her foul breath was too great for him to bear; a putrid stench of rotting corpses from all the souls she’s feasted upon.
“What did you expect Bernie, the president’s blessing?” “Mr. President she’s pure evil!” The Berner pleaded to the statue standing on the opposite end of the table. “He can’t hear you…” The witch continued, “…he learned the hard way by taking the election from me eight years ago. It’s about time you learned the same lesson.”
With a deeper look, the Berner could now see the true price the president paid as he observed him standing on the sidelines. His eyes were completely blank of expression; it appeared he’s been a possessed gork all along. His soul must be long gone by now; trapped somewhere deep inside her foul digestive tract. No wonder his endorsement was an easy thing for her to snatch.
“Ron Paul was lucky.” She continued. “He never had to suffer the dire consequences that you will, because the Republican voters were too stupid to realize that he was the biggest threat to my establishment. But you on the other hand, the primary vote is too close for my comfort. It’s about time I brought balance back to the two-party system.”
“That’s enough out of you!” the Berner shouted, with his judging pointer raised.
The witch’s eyes watched in amusement as his finger wagged back and forth. “Ha, ha, ha…” she taunted. “…you have no power here!”
The ceiling suddenly began to vibrate vigorously as if an earthquake was about to strike, and the hologram peered up with a shriek as it was met with a collapsing skylight. The laptop on the table was completely obliterated, and for just a moment The Berner felt a sliver of hope. Little did that foul beast know; that he possessed a compelling power of telekinesis. His moment of triumph would be cut short however, as he heard a startling high-pitched squeal from outside the door…
…“YOU FOOL!” It screeched. “Your suffering has only just begun!” the witch shouted as the door collapsed before him. “Oh God, the stench!” the Berner cried out in agony, as she approached him in her foul physical form.
“Goldman Sachs guaranteed my nomination don’t you see?! Step down now and I’ll let you live.” “The senate will stop you!” he shouted furiously. “I AM THE SENATE!” She hissed. “Not if I have anything to say about it!” The Berner declared as his deadly pointer rose again; sending the table spiraling towards her. But to his dismay, it disintegrated into mere smithereens before hitting her.
“There is no escape! Don’t make me destroy you.” “I’ll never join you!” “Obama never told you what happened to Richard Nixon did he?” The Berner was perplexed by a startling change in the witch’s voice. He recognized its new tone, but couldn’t put his finger on it. “Nixon is dead, a fitting fate for a criminal like you!” “No…I AM RICHARD NIXON.”
“That’s not true…” the Berner said, shaking his head hysterically in denial. “That’s impossible!” “Search your feelings you know it to be true!” the witch declared; tearing off a Hillary Clinton flesh mask to reveal ‘the crook’ himself, in the flesh. “NO! NO!”
“I’m not a crook!” the witch-morphed-devil taunted as Bernie collapsed to the floor in complete disbelief.
“Ah, I remember it well eight years ago…” Nixon snickered with his daunting smug smile. “…seeing Obama react the same petrified way as you are now before I took his soul. I’m surprised people didn’t recognize the impostor we have in his place now; especially after he bailed out Wall Street. You would think the progressives would’ve caught on to our deception. It was a risky move, I honestly thought our cover was about to be shattered. But the public ate it up, much to our relief. Now will the public ever believe your future endorsement of Hillary Clinton is sincere? That’s a risk we’ll have to take. It could backfire and turn your grassroots movement into Trump supporters…” “NO!” Bernie shouted in petrified despair. “…but my establishment will benefit nevertheless, even with that babbling idiot in charge. No matter who wins, your society loses Mr. Sanders. While we, ‘the elite’, will benefit as always. Your campaign has run its course Mr. Sanders I’m afraid. Any last words?”
Bernie’s eyes were turgid with fear, but his brain seemed to be working on some basic motor-survival level. He had the same level of contempt for Nixon as Hunter S. Thompson once did, but there was one last thing he had to know: “Are you also Hillary Clinton? Or does she even exist?”
“The devil wears many disguises Bernie. I am she and she is me. How else do you think I ran this country for so long? I had to use different personas of course, but they all mainly had the same political results in the end for the past few decades. John F. Kennedy’s death was the golden ticket to my success; a necessary move to start my foreseen journey to the New World Order. Anyway our time is short Mr. Sanders, we really must get a move on.”
Bernie’s mind recoiled in horror as the Obama-zombie approached him.
“Look at me Bernie.” The gork demanded. “LOOK… AT… ME!” he hissed with a needle and EEG cap in hand. The Berner’s tearful glance strayed away as the gork got closer. “Last chance to look at me Bernie.”
The gork finally got his wish after grabbing Bernie’s arm; “There’s something you should know before we take your soul.” The gork said; tearing off his Obama flesh mask to reveal the terrifying face of Lyndon B. Johnson. “Oh you evil bastards!” The Berner cried out in petrified rage. “You should’ve stayed out of the two-party system.” LBJ replied. “These parties belong to us, and always will.”
“Save your soul...” a ghostly voice echoed in a high corner of the room; sending eerie chills down Bernie’s spine. He peered up to see the ghost of John F. Kennedy hovering above, making his hair stand on all ends. “…and your mind!” the ghost screeched as Nixon shocked it with his electrifying sith hands.
“Da da da da da da, GHOSTBUSTERS!” Nixon and LBJ began chanting as they cornered Bernie. He tried to summon his telekinetic powers once again, but his horrified brain was too paralyzed to cooperate.
“You’ll become society’s batman.” Nixon snickered. “You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain. Your death would only arouse society’s suspicions however. So you’ll live to see another day. Your body will at least, I can’t say the same for your mind though. You’ll be a mind-controlled gork like Obama soon enough. You’ll endorse Hillary Clinton at the DNC, and then you’ll be effectively ousted by your supporters.”
There is another, Bernie thought, as tears of hope streamed down his face.
He could already feel the injection streaming through his veins; “I might’ve fallen, but my movement will still march on. For every fallen leader, a new one rises.” Bernie mumbled with a smirk; an optimistic expression that put Nixon on edge. “Who?!” “What do you know that I don’t?!” Nixon demanded. But it was too late; Bernie’s conscience was already gone.
"Should we be concerned?" LBJ voiced over to Nixon. "He's bluffing." Nixon replied. "Move forward with our original plan. See to it that he endorses Hillary Clinton."
The story written above is complete fiction of course, merely intended as comic relief for the disappointed Bernie Sanders supporters. However the question still remains; what did Obama and Bernie discuss on June 9th during their meeting that made him completely flip-flop before our eyes? The world may never know, but perhaps his supporters should take his advice on what he said previously:
