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I Tried A Salad For The First Time Today and I Found That I Am Really Not Cut Out For That Life

Healthy food isn't mentally healthy if it doesn't give me the same pleasure that meat does.

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I Tried A Salad For The First Time Today and I Found That I Am Really Not Cut Out For That Life

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First of all, the salad I ate was not bad (other than the pieces that were browning) for a discounted salad. I have to admit: probably not the best start to try and eat healthier but it was a start.

My Best friend keeps nagging me about eating healthy so while I was standing in Pizza Hut, I heard her voice and it made me head to the campus convenience store. There I found a discounted Caesar Salad for $4 (considering it was the Campus store, that was pretty cheap) compared to the $6-8 salads. I went back to my dorm, opened it up, regretted opening it, closed it and put it in the fridge. 20 minutes later, I gathered the courage to finally eat it. Dousing it in ranch, chopping up the chicken and throwing in the croissants... it was done.

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I consider any green food to be rabbit food. If you put that stuff on a plate and give it to a starving me, I would throw it in your face. I am a meat-eater. Plain and simple, I am the type to choose a nice juicy $20 steak rather than a hundred dollar salad. So what if it's expensive? And why on earth is a salad almost as expensive at the same restaurant?? It STILL rabbit food.

I embody Marlon Waynes as Marcus Copeland being one of the Hampton girls on a date with Latrell. A girl that is a meat-eater but gets a salad on a date is just fooling her date. Last year, I accidentally walked into a vegan restaurant and when they gave me the menu, I almost died. I refused to eat chickpea salad or imitation hamburgers made from tofu (whatever that stuff even is). Staring at the menu, I flipped to the desserts and ordered a vegan chocolate cake (how is that vegan?) and let me tell you, it was dry, sad, and didn't taste like chocolate. It was honestly a crime against humanity.

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I am also the Cookie Monster, vegetables are not sugar so I don't like it. When my friends criticize my choice in food while they are eating a vegetable abomination, I want so badly to show them the delicious world of unhealthy eating and overeating desserts. When I go to the Universities cafeteria, I eat more dessert than I do Dinner.

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In the end, salads are not food, they are a snack. That is as much as I will concede on the matter. I think because I ate one, my friends are gonna try and push me to eat more so I think that I am going to eat it when I want. There is no point in eating something that you don't like. Eating is a ritual that is sacred and if someone destroys that, it will destroy me.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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