Every summer I tell myself that I'm going to start running and every summer I go running maybe three times. As each day without going for a run passes, I continue to impress myself and my immediate family with the excuses I make for why today is not the day for my foray into running to begin. I'm always gung-ho to take up running on a tomorrow that never comes.

If you're in a condition similar to my own, but have yet to find an adequate way to justify your procrastination of physical activity, feel free to borrow from my ample list of excuses as to why you really just can't be bothered to go for a run right now.

1. I just ate.

I'm so full I can't even imagine moving at a normal speed or standing up let alone running.

2. I'm about to eat.

Running on an empty stomach would just be too cruel.

3. It's too hot.

If the temperature is already making me sweat why should I be expected to engage in physical activity that will just make me sweat even more? That sounds like the actual definition of hell.

4. It's too cold.

The cold has absolutely always bothered me.

5. My FitBit is broken.

If the steps don't count towards making it to my daily goal, are they really worth it?

6. My phone is about to die.

The only run I'm going on is to my charger.

7. I don't have enough time.

I could probably run forever if I set my mind to it, you don't even know. Also, I actually do not know how much time to budget to go for a run--is two hours enough?

8. I'm about to go to work.

I don't want to get exhausted running before a busy day keeping on my grind.

9. I just got home from work.

I'm so exhausted from such a busy day I can barely keep my eyes open.

10. I'm still breaking in my sneakers.

Lord knows I'm not trying to get any blisters up in here.

11. My sneakers are falling apart.

If I go running in this sorry excuse for a pair of shoes I'll be even more likely to hurt myself than I would with shoes that were in top-notch condition.

12. I just took a shower.

I finally washed my hair with actual soap and water rather than dry shampoo and really want to revel in this moment.

13. I won't have time to shower after.

I don't want to wallow in my own filth afterwards and I don't have enough time to wash my hair.

14. I haven't updated my running playlist in literal years.

I gotta get some new jams to motivate me!

15. I have to write my Odyssey article.

Real life footage of me, right now, not running.

Let's pour some out for the runs we'll never go on and give three cheers to many a marvelous evening spent lounging on the couch.