I’m literally running away from my problems right now.

My feet hit the pavement and the sweat drips from my brow.

I gasp for air as the pain worsens with each step that I take.

I run to avoid thinking about these problems that haunt every moment that I wake.

The frigid air feels refreshing on my skin and it stifles the mess in my head.

The chorus of the music hits so I start to sprint towards whatever lies ahead.

My hands start to go numb because it’s so cold, and I appreciate the sensation.

For just a few minutes, it takes my mind off of how I’m crumbling at my foundation.

Hands numb and lungs gasping for breath, I keep running and my back starts to hurt.

I ignore the pain as I keep going, avoiding these old problems to which I revert.

The black sky is a blank canvas above me, and the beauty of the moon is another welcome distractor.

The pain moves down to my hips and I inevitably start to think about the failure of my words to impact her.

I try to push the thoughts away as I keep running.

But, then, I stop, I breathe and I think “things have spiraled down this quickly. Isn’t that stunning?”

I ignore myself as I start to run again. My back protests, my hips complain and my knees enter the fray.

I’ve been running for a while now. Despite my best efforts, the thoughts creep in; “no matter what I say, she simply won’t stay.”

I’m cold and my body aches, but I don’t want to stop. If I do, I’ll have to return to directly feeling the pain that’s more intense.

My mind keeps running through it all. I love her, but she doesn’t love me. None of it makes any sense.

I’m falling apart; I don’t feel alive anymore.

My strength is fading. My reserves of will are depleted thanks to this never-ending war.

I’m fighting myself and I just can’t win. She was my strongest weapon but now she’s gone.

I need her love. I don’t want to move on.

I want to pour my heart out to her again, to tell her that I love her and hope that’s enough.

I keep holding onto the hope that, this time, she won’t rebuff.

I’ve seen what life is like without the two of us together. It’s miserable and I want to be happy again.

I’ll toss up one more Hail Mary. The game will be on the line. If I fail, what then?

Nothing, really. Nothing will change; I’ll still be lost at sea, hoping to find a meaning to it all.

But maybe I’ll finally be able to find my way to my feet after one more hard fall.

I pray that it doesn’t come to that. I firmly hope that she will love me once more.

I pray that love will conquer all, and that I can return to the woman that I adore.

These thoughts keep flooding in, and I’ve stopped running. I limp back to where I came from.

Whether it’s my house or my dorm, it all feels the same. I notice that my hands feel numb,

And I’m aware of the pain in my knees and my back but now my emotions mask it.

Then, I feel pathetic as I know that, once again, I’ve given in to this addiction that I can’t quit.

Eventually, I crawl into bed, still drowning in this flood. I just I wish that you knew

That my last thought before I sleep is “I hope we’ll be together again soon because I love you.”