Okay, I can not even begin to estimate how many nights I have spent staying up late, subconsciously playing a new game of Sims 3 and watching Friends. I have seen the whole series--in order--twice, and have seen countless random episodes on Nick at Night over the years. As a matter of fact, I’m watching “The One Where Phoebe Hates PBS” as I write this article, and it reminded me of the notes I previously made when I first decided I want to write about the series.

Specifically, I want to talk about Ross. As a kid, I was an avid Ross-and-Rachel supporter. I remember admiring how quirky and cute Ross was, and how adorkable he was when he excitedly went on a tangent about dinosaurs.

However, now that I’m older - and arguably wiser - I have seen the errors of my ways. I now stand in the field of “Ross is terrible”, and often recount the reasons that Rachel and Joey were actually the ideal couple-that-should-have-been, a sentiment that is shared amongst many Friends fans.

But I digress. I will spare the half-hour rant about Ross, and my singing praise of Joey, and instead, illustrate my point with a single example of how manipulative Ross can be: how he invalidates the emotions of the women around him, but expects everyone around him to regard his own feelings as the most important factor in any decision.

Any Friends fan is definitely familiar with Ross and Rachel’s never-ending feud - whether or not the fact that they were “on a break” justifies the fact that Ross slept with someone else. Now, instead of picking apart the technicalities of breaks and breakups, I want to remind you of one of the details that started the original fight.

Before Ross even slept with the infamous Xerox girl, he continued to argue with Rachel about her coworker, Mark. Despite Rachel insisting that she loves Ross and he has nothing to worry about, Ross continues to insinuate that Rachel is either seeing Mark or has feelings for him. Understandably, this upset Rachel; the fact that Ross doubted her love and loyalty to him, when she had done nothing wrong, was hurtful - and, of course, ironic, considering that in the end, he was the one that slept with someone else.

In this instance, Ross finds his actions to be completely justified; even though he has no reason to continue to question or doubt Rachel, he does so anyway to satisfy his own insecurity.

However, when the tables are turned, Ross suddenly has a change of heart and perspective in regards to this issue.

Almost as infamous as the “we were on a break” feud is the controversial moment where Ross says Rachel’s name at the altar, instead of the name of his wife-to-be, Emily. Emily was already anxious about Rachel’s presence in Ross’ life, considering their romantic history - the same kind of way that Ross was anxious about Mark, despite the lack of history or reason for his anxiety. But, when Emily is upset and refuses to speak with Ross, he acts like SHE is the one being unreasonable - a total reversal of his previous stance, when HE was in Emily’s position.

This contradiction is just one of many times that Ross places himself on a sort of pedestal, believing that his feelings are always the most important, and his mistakes are always justified. When those around him make the same mistakes, or experience the same emotions that he has experienced, he invalidates them, in favor of making himself look better.

Furthermore, Ross holds much higher expectations, and a higher standard, for his friends' behaviors, while he never holds himself accountable for his mistakes. He expects Rachel to immediately forgive him for the Xerox girl incident, and he expects Emily to also immediately forgive him for ruining their wedding and embarrassing her. Ross makes major mistakes in both of these instances, but does not believe the women he has affected are entitled to their feelings afterwards.

Ross always expects to be forgiven, even when he severely hurts the women around him. He continues to project his insecurities on to Rachel when he assumes she has feelings for Mark, and wants her to apologize and comfort him for an affair that doesn't even exist; meanwhile, Ross displays a history of cheating on his partners, and yet, he somehow finds Emily's distress as unfair and superfluous.

And to make matters worse, when Ross' friends do try to - calmly - address his mistakes and offer advice, he only lashes out. After his wedding fiasco with Emily, Ross plans to get a new apartment, have Emily move to the city with him, and stop being friends with Rachel, all in an attempt to save his marriage. As Emily's demands grow increasingly more difficult, Ross' friends suggest that Ross may have advanced their relationship too quickly, and that it may not work out. Instead of hearing his friends out and simply disagreeing, Ross yells at them, insisting that none of them know what they are talking about, and storms out.

This incident alone was enough to convince me to address Ross’ behavior in an article, but there’s plenty more where that came from.

More likely than not, I will probably be watching more Friends reruns tonight, and every other night of summer vacation, and I will definitely have more to argue about Ross, and how his “nice guy” narrative is not nearly as effective in 2018.