It's time to keep it real. The relationship one has with their roommate is a special, often times weird one. There are some things you say to your roomie that would just be straight up weird to say to anyone else.
"Sorry if you see my butt"
But really it's bound to happen at some point anyway so I'm just apologizing now. These rooms are small and there's really no place to privately change unless you go to the bathroom literally every time.
"If I'm still watching Netflix too late, knock me unconscious"
I have a sleeping problem and the only way I can stay somewhat on schedule is if I allow you to threaten me physically if I'm up past a certain time. I fully understand that if you knock me out, it is out of the pure love and concern for my well-being.
"I took your last poptart"
You don't even really like them anyway, and I ran out of granola bars
"Are my leggings see through?" *Bends over*
They better not be, considering how expensive they were, but you just never know these days
"Do you hear those bagpipes or is it just the wind?"
Or is it the garbage men? You can never really tell what goes on outside your windows when you never open the shades.
"I'm borrowing your pants"
Because I haven't done the wash in months and I ran out of leggings
"...and your shirt"
Because I haven't done wash in months and I rant out of sweatshirts
"How much trouble would we get in for sneaking in a parrot?"
We really need a fun animal and what better animal than one that talks back?!
"Did you think our fish gets thirsty?"
*stares at pet fish intently*
"Do you think I need to shave my legs? Can you like feel them?"
Your roommate has a personal responsibility to tell you when you need to shave your legs ASAP or when you can go another day.
*After shaving legs* "Okay, but really, feel how soft"
They also MUST feel them after you've shaved. It's just a must.
