My roommate is the sister I never asked for and never wanted. But nevertheless I am so blessed and fortunate to have her in my life and to be learning from her everyday.

Roommates it’s a tricky business. Selecting RANDOM and instantly it’s like walking onto a minefield. Careful, don’t say anything stupid to your new roomie: you don’t want to sound unintelligent. Then again you don’t want to sound closed off, so be personal. Quick, check the social media profiles! Do they give the impression of the “you” that society needs to see? “Cool girl or guy, approachable, has fun, has friends, is different but still with the trends.”

If you, like me, dared to select the ominous RANDOM check box, your living situations might have seemed precarious at first. I am an only child and grew up happy living with space. Camp, yes I had experienced but a permanent roommate was different. No one can prepare you for that change.

So maybe you don’t like your roommate or you’re not that close with him/her. Here’s the thing, you are given an incredible and amazing opportunity no one else is to live with this stranger for the next year. They have become your adopted sibling that you may or may not have expected: there’s always a black sheep of the family right? But in the end you can always come back to them. So, if you want a few ideas to making your living situation more like a family situation keep reading. If not you can move on….sleep on it….and come back later.

• Remove the invisible line

If there’s that invisible line down the middle of the room that divides your things and theirs, strike it. What I have come to accept is that if you want a sibling relationship with your roommate, there is nothing in your room that is purely yours: but that’s actually okay. Having a, “what’s mine is yours” mentality is exhausting for an only child-slight control freak; but it is also humbling. Things can be yours and hers but just know that in the end sharing is caring.

• Roommate mentality or are you gathering sibling telepathy?

Do you finish each other’s thoughts? Sometimes I find myself saying odd catch phrases like my roommate. But siblings do more than just think alike, they start thinking in a devious way. What would life be like without a little laughter in spite of someone’s embarrassment?

• Ask a question

The old age parental response you’ll never know if you never ask…well its true! Don’t say you don’t know things about your roommate if you never bothered to ask. Vice versa, don’t expect your roommate to know something about you that you never said. You might be surprised at the commonalties you have if you start with simple questions.

• Acknowledge your differences and then EMBRACE them

My roommate has a love for old movies so I have been educated on the classics! Maybe your roommate is a little “on the wild side.” Hey it’s only for a year, embrace the crazy stories! Where else would you have heard about that party on Halloween? If you really can’t find any common ground maybe all you get out of the experience is learning what not to do in school.

• Let me help you, help me, help you.

College is stressful. According to the College Parents of America “60% of students have stress at some point in time have felt stress to point of not being able to get work done.” To relive this stress “84% of students reach out to their friends to help them with stress.” Why not make your roommate one of your stress relievers? Your room shouldn’t be a stressful place. And if your roommate is a go-to person for your breakdowns then you’ve hit the jackpot.

• Recognize their humanity

Nobody is perfect. And that is what makes people absolutely beautiful. Recognize the goofiness and imperfections. The fact that your roommate has no directional sense whatsoever; the fact that your roommate can never get up in the mornings; the fact that your roommate skips obligations to watch Netflix; the fact should be you know so many facts you eventually share a look that says “it’s ok that your imperfect because so am I you goof.”

So, let them get annoying. Let them get under your skin. Then let it blow over. Because in the end siblings love each other. I have found a friend for life in my freshmen RANDOM roommate, which is rare and unexpected. But I’m someone who believes that sometimes family chooses you.

I encourage you to make your roommate part of yours.