The following commentary is based on a viewing of Zootopia with my two roommates, Hailey Jackson and Stuart Carney. This article contains SPOILERS!
1. It's starting!!!!!!!!
2. *Sees Cinderella's Castle appear on screen* I miss being able to walk into Magic Kingdom everyday...*Cue tears*
3. Steamboat Willie!
4. Young Judy: "Blood! Blood! Blood!"
5. But really, young Judy is too stinkin' cute!
6. Young Judy: "Now, predator and prey live in harmony."
7. You CAN make the world a better place, Judy!
8. ZOOTOPIA!
9. Young Judy: "Anyone can be anything!"
10. 275 brothers and sisters...That's a lot of carrots...
11. Hailey Jackson: "Such a good pep talk..."
12. You go, girl! *Referring to young Judy beating up young Gideon*
13. Young Judy: "I don't know when to quit."
14. Polar Bear Coach: "Dead! Dead! Dead!"
15. I think I love this movie solely for the fact that Ginnifer Goodwin is Officer Judy Hopps aka Snow from Once Upon a Time.
16. Mufasa! Oh, wait...He's dead.
17. Hailey Jackson: "Watching this movie with hindsight is crazy."
18. Stu (Judy's father): "We have bears to fear, too."
19. That goodbye was so sweet...
20. *CUE SHAKIRA*
21. It's kind of like the monorail. Except they don't let people sit in the very front of the monorail anymore. Awkward.
22. *Sings Try Everything for the entire duration of the scene*
23. Her earphones are actually IN her ears! Good job, Disney Animators!
24. Gazelle: "I'm Gazelle. Welcome to Zootopia."
25. OLAF!
26. Officer Judy Hopps: "Ready to make the world a better place?"
27. IDRIS ELBA!
28. Officer Judy Hopps: "I'm not just some token bunny." You tell 'em, girlfriend.
29. Hey look, it's like Ball State Parking. They must have hired Officer Hopps after this movie came out.
30. Hailey Jackson: "I like how she writes a ticket for herself."
31. Referring to the elephant scooping ice cream with his trunk:
Me: "That's disgusting."
Hailey Jackson: "It sounds like he's saying, 'Achoo!'"
32. Officer Judy Hopps: "Glove those trunks,"...Is that a condom joke?
33. Officer Judy Hopps: "A real, articulate fox." What does that even mean?
34. Hailey Jackson: "Popsicle...Pawsicle...I get it!"
35. Tiny port-a-potties!
36. Nick Wilde: "It's called a, 'Hustle,' sweetheart."
37. It's a pretty clever hustle, though.
38. Nick Wilde is kind of a dick at the beginning of this movie, though. Sorry, Jason Bateman.
39. That is the saddest microwave dinner I have ever seen.
40. I wonder if Apple had to be paid or sign off for Disney to use a version of their ringtone for Judy's phone?
41. Ha. Carrot Phone.
42. IT'S JOSH DALLAS! Aka, Charming in Once Upon a Time and Goodwin's real-life husband.
43. Judy kind of looked like Elsa just now flinging her Meter Maid vest off...
44. I, too, wish I could use tiny cars as roller-skates.
45. *Cue The Godfather references*
46. Chief Bogo: "Like isn't some cartoon musical where you sing a little song and all your insipid dreams magically come true. So, let it go." Ha. Good one, Disney.
47. Officer Judy Hopps: "I may be a dumb bunny, but we are good at multiplying." Really? REALLY, DISNEY?
48. Officer Judy Hopps: "Don't call me, 'Cute.' Get in the car."
49. A nudist club...Funny.
50. Officer Judy Hopps: "Wait, they're all sloths?!"
51. That would be the most aggravating thing in the world. (Referring to the sloths running the DMV)
52. This scene gives me anxiety. (Still referring to the sloths running the DMV)
53. Nick Wilde: "Flash, Flash, hundred yard dash!"
54. Officer Judy Hopps: "Hurry! We gotta beat the rush hour and...It's night?!"
55. More The Godfather references!
56. Ha. Skunk butt rug.
57. Aw, little arctic shrew wedding. Wait, what's an arctic shrew?
58. First the otter, now we have a crazy, psycho jaguar.
59. Of course he's missing once the rest of the ZPD shows up to help out Officer Hopps.
60. Chief Bogo is kind of a dick, too.
61. Poor Nick...He just wanted to be a Junior Ranger Scout.
62. Can we just take a moment to appreciate the animation of this movie? Their fur is softly blowing in the breeze.
63. Nick Wilde: "It's like cotton candy!"
64. This Timberwolf is wearing a peacoat.
65. *Hailey Jackson is now sitting here howling.*
66. Hailey Jackson: "That's impressive. They got the 'Red-Eye' effect."
67. Shoot horizontal video, not vertical, Judy!
68. Going out down the toilet. Always a good escape plan.
69. I want that recorder carrot pen...
70. This movie brings up so many racist undertones, it's unbelievable. But they do it in such a way that makes it easy to understand and make us realize how much of a problem it really is.
71. Gazelle: "We cannot let fear divide us."
72. Officer Judy Hopps: "I came here to make the world a better place, but...I think I broke it."
73. Gideon Grey is back! At least he's nicer now.
74. And the lightbulb goes Dink!
75. I REALLY want her pen!
76. Aw, Judy and Nick made up.
77. Wow, arctic shrews can get very pregnant very fast.
78. Deserted subway station. Now that's creepy.
79. Ha. It's Breaking Bad Disney version.
80. Woolter and Jesse. Very clever, Disney. Very. Clever.
81. This movie is so much more action-packed than you think.
82. Nick Wilde: "I think this is our stop!" Very reminiscent of Anastasia and Dimitri from Anastasia.
83. IT WAS THE FREAKING SHEEP!
84. Of course Judy gets hurt.
85. Stuart Carney: "It's like a wolf in a sheep's clothing."
86. Being trapped in a pit. Never a good situation to be put in.
87. Son of a b*tch, she shot the fox!
88. Judy's gonna die...
89. JK, she lives. Nice scream, though.
90. And she uses the pen on the sheep. Way to go, Officer Hopps!
91. Officer Judy Hopps: "Turns out life's a little more complicated than a slogan on a bumper sticker." Ain't that the truth.
92. Aw, Nick became a cop, too!
93. How does she even drive the car? She can't reach the pedals!
94. Yay, the song again!
95. Jokes on you people. This is my third time watching the movie.
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