Clicking With Your Roommate Isn't About Living Together

The Roommate Hype Is Real

If you haven't experienced it, you probably just aren't living with the right person.


When college move-in season rolls around, there are two types of articles flooding the Internet: packing lists and happy roommate stories. These sorts of posts lead you to believe that you need more stuff for your dorm than you actually do and that you will inevitably become best friends with the person sleeping 10 feet away from you. I learned the hard way that neither of those things is true.

My freshman roommate and I were friends, but we were never very close. We seemed like we were very similar on paper, but we didn't exactly balance each other out in person. Perhaps, we didn't talk enough before moving in together. The year ended, and we kind of fell out of touch, nothing dramatic or anything. However, I was still a little upset. I just felt like I was missing out on something everyone else seemed to have: a new best friend.

This year, I had the opportunity to move to a new room with a new roommate. We'd known each other from living in the same building the previous year, but we'd never really talked beyond just being polite to one another. I was wary of this change, as we appeared to have nothing in common.

However, I was proven once again that my preconceived notions were dead wrong. I knew my new roommate and I at least needed to know who would bring what, so we stayed in contact throughout the summer. During this time, we also started talking about other things, and with every opinion she had, I realized we had the same sense of humor and a whole bunch of other personality traits in common. I got more and more excited for the year to start, but even then I had no idea what I was getting myself into.

We had to move in a week early to run an orientation program, so we essentially spent every waking moment together for that whole first week. This by far was one of the greatest things that could've happened. After an hour of just talking on the first night, I realized this girl was going to be a life-long friend.

Now, I know the Internet was right, even though they never spoke to me when I read them. We tell each other everything and always have something to talk about. We share almost everything we own and hardly spend time away from each other. All this is just after two weeks of sharing a room!

The roommate bond isn't about living together in such a small space -- it's all about the person you're paired with.

Living with a stranger is scary, but the risk is worth what may come from it. If I hadn't taken the plunge and agreed to live with someone new this year, I never would've truly met one of my best friends; I'm having a very hard time wrapping my mind around that fact. Maybe that's what makes roommates so great: you can't always choose them, but they'll change your life forever.

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I'm The Girl Without A 'Friend Group'

And here's why I'm OK with it


Little things remind me all the time.

For example, I'll be sitting in the lounge with the people on my floor, just talking about how everyone's days went. Someone will turn to someone else and ask something along the lines of, "When are we going to so-and-so's place tonight?" Sometimes it'll even be, "Are you ready to go to so-and-so's place now? Okay, we'll see you later, Taylor!"

It's little things like that, little things that remind me I don't have a "friend group." And it's been like that forever. I don't have the same people to keep me company 24 hours of the day, the same people to do absolutely everything with, and the same people to cling to like glue. I don't have a whole cast of characters to entertain me and care for me and support me. Sometimes, especially when it feels obvious to me, not having a "friend group" makes me feel like a waste of space. If I don't have more friends than I can count, what's the point in trying to make friends at all?

I can tell you that there is a point. As a matter of fact, just because I don't have a close-knit clique doesn't mean I don't have any friends. The friends I have come from all different walks of life, some are from my town back home and some are from across the country. I've known some of my friends for years, and others I've only known for a few months. It doesn't really matter where they come from, though. What matters is that the friends I have all entertain me, care for me, and support me. Just because I'm not in that "friend group" with all of them together doesn't mean that we can't be friends to each other.

Still, I hate avoiding sticking myself in a box, and I'm not afraid to seek out friendships. I've noticed that a lot of the people I see who consider themselves to be in a "friend group" don't really venture outside the pack very often. I've never had a pack to venture outside of, so I don't mind reaching out to new people whenever.

I'm not going to lie, when I hear people talking about all the fun they're going to have with their "friend group" over the weekend, part of me wishes I could be included in something like that. I do sometimes want to have the personality type that allows me to mesh perfectly into a clique. I couldn't tell you what it is about me, but there is some part of me that just happens to function better one-on-one with people.

I hated it all my life up until very recently, and that's because I've finally learned that not having a "friend group" is never going to be the same as not having friends.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who Float Between Friend Groups

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Coming Home From College For The Summer Is Much Needed

Wait, how do you drive a car again?


Since finals week began, I believe I can say for all college students that we were ready to come back to our hometowns for the summer. We had grown tired of eating at the dining hall, spending countless hours in the library, and pulling laundry from the dryers for it to still be damp. Being home for the summer rids you of those worries and only provides a sense of comfort and security with a furnished home and bedroom to yourself. We sometimes forget how things were before college, with a fully stocked refrigerator and even a dishwasher to keep things clean. Coming home often makes life much easier.

Coming home means revisiting all of your favorite places around town — restaurants, parks, or museums — with fresh eyes. Being away from these places for months on end only causes you to develop a deeper appreciation for the little things. In my case, the first thing I did upon arriving home was take a trip to my favorite local coffee shop. Not only is the coffee delicious, but going back to the shop itself also brings back numerous memories made over the past four years.

That is one of the best things about coming home — it's as if you're rediscovering parts of yourself that you left behind.

Being back in your hometown also enables you to reconnect with only friends and classmates whom you haven't seen in months or even a full year. Whether it be going for a walk together or grabbing breakfast, being able to update one another on your year of college life makes for great connections. You oftentimes find yourself missing your old friends more than you thought, but once you all get together again, it seems like nothing has changed.

One of my favorite parts of being home is spending more time with my family. I have never felt so grateful for home-cooked meals or a real washer and dryer until I stepped into my house again. Rather than talking on the phone with my parents about our days, I can sit down with them at the kitchen table and have a conversation in person. I also never realized that I would miss my parents — or my dog — as much as I did over the past year.

Though finding activities to pass the time can sometimes get "boring" in one's hometown, spending some time away can reinstate plenty of ideas. My sister and I found ourselves making a list of things we can do throughout the summer, and though some of the things we had done before, it sounded so much more exciting after spending the school year in a different city.

In the end, coming home makes you appreciate your town even more.

Even if you didn't love it before, being home for just a few months keeps you from taking life's finer things for granted. Especially when it's summer, you can relax on your own couch without the stress of school in front of you. Enjoy your city while you can, because it is always there to welcome you back.

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