There are certain moments in life when a feeling of existential angst strikes out of nowhere. Something as small as standing on a roof, gazing off into the distance, can make you feel completely insignificant and start to wonder who we are and what this thing is we call life.
Often times we get so caught up in our day-to-day lives, and the small area of Earth that we reside in, that we forget the bigger picture. In the grand scheme of things, we are each simply one of billions of organisms that live on this world. An unimaginable number of living and nonliving things have come before us, and even more will follow us. In the inconceivably long timeline that is our universe, our individual lives are but a miniscule blip of time. If all of time was somehow laid out in front of us, a blink would last longer than any one person’s lifetime. The beginning and end of humanity itself would not last as long as a yawn, and our planet’s lifespan would maybe take up as much time as a commercial break during the Superbowl.
If you are lucky enough to be completing your higher education in a city, then you probably know someone with access to their roof. A friend of mine lives in a shared four story building, and said building has a rooftop deck with a nice little view of the gorgeous city of Philadelphia.
Standing on this roof the other night, looking out into the darkness, all these thoughts battered my subconscious, and even now I struggle to put them to words. Call me excessive, dramatic, or some sort of crazy pseudo philosopher, but put me on a roof and this is what I think about it. Ninety-nine percent of the time I forget my place in this universe. During the majority of time, my life is school, work, friends, family, and food. Crowded bars and empty libraries, Late nights and early mornings, friendships, relationships, joy, and sadness. Life to us is the small things that make up our days. It is our past mistakes and hope for the future. Life is specific and arbitrary, ugly and beautiful, short and long, amazing and terrible. All this is true, but to be scientific; life is a tiny speck of existence in an infinite vacuum of space and time. Whenever life gets too serious, it comforts me to think of this fact. I mean screw it right? After all we are just ants on a tiny rock floating through the vast nothingness that is our universe. With this in mind, it begins to seem petty to worry about small things like a grade on a test, a burnt piece of toast, or an end to a relationship or friendship. Forget the small and the large can be seen.
To whoever’s reading this, you are probably thinking that it is pure insanity for something as simple as standing on a roof to trigger all these deep thoughts, and you are probably right. In either case, put me on a roof and I become an existentialist. Put me back on the ground and I’ll become a realist again. What life is all about, I couldn’t tell you. What I can tell you is that thinking about it is a hell of a lot of fun. It can make you sad and happy at the same time. It can lead you to question everything you have done and everything you will do. It can drive you to madness and lead to to complete and pure sanity all at the same time. The next time you start to get caught up in day-to-day bullshit, find yourself a roof with a view, go up there, and think.
