Raise your hand if you've ever felt personally victimized by romance movies.

Shout out to the Romance Genre for raising unrealistic expectations since mankind could tell a story. Think about it. We've only had films for the past 100 years, but before we had films we had plays, novels, and even folk tales shared orally. Mankind has always had a soft spot for fantasizing the perfect hero and heroine with unfathomable obstacles that somehow managed to overcome them all with their all-consuming, beautiful love (imagine me pretending to swoon right here).

My first real experiences of course came from Disney movies, but I didn't care about those. The real romance that ruined me for the better part of my childhood/adolescence/don't-tell-anyone-but-it-still-does is this one...

If you've read any of my articles I feel like finding out that I love Star Wars isn't a surprise. The shameful part is that I wasn't actually just obsessed with Star Wars. I was OBSESSED with Padme because she's a butt-kicking, independent, political beast. Also she has brown hair and brown eyes so I felt I had a personal connection with her (nine year olds, am I right?).

My apologies to every single one of my friends that I forced to watch Episode II with me because of my intense love of Padme, and by extension, Anakin.

With Padme, this was who I wanted to be. With Anakin, this was who I wanted to be with. Even with that hideous little braid that happened in Episode II. I don't know why, but to me this was what all amazing relationships needed to be: intense and forbidden. Because if you were allowed to be with this person the excitement would wear out I guess. I wouldn't personally know, but when I do, I'll get back to you.

So this isn't exactly a good example of what a relationship should be considering they weren't allowed to be seen together, couldn't talk about their relationship to anyone (so how would their healthcare and wills work?), Anakin keeps secrets from her (like killing a building full of children), etc.

But come on. Forbidden love is what teen hormones require not to explode and infect the entire human race.

This brings me to...

Ah, Twilight. I still like watching these movies at my most vulnerable points. I read all of the books at least three times in middle school because there was no one like Edward. Except...

Now I'm pretty sure Edward Cullen is actually a sociopath and I totally misread him in middle school. I'm sure there are scholarly articles dedicated to this, but here are the facts as I see them:

1. a much older man is disguised as someone much younger. 2. is attracted to this girl based on the fact that he can't read her mind so it starts as a game to him. 3. constantly reminds her how he wants to kill and eat her because she's his version of a Mcflurry. 4. draws her away from her friends into a life of secrecy. 5. actually ends up taking her away from her friends into a life of secrecy. 6. and how could I forget, he watched her when she slept before they were even dating. Also this behavior is creepy even when they're dating.

So somehow this movie convinced me the danger of a relationship is exciting. Real life and death situation happening here which should not be #relationshipgoals.

Okay guys, now don't kill me over this last example...

Okay, so I'm going to be honest. I have always thought that Allie and Noah were a bad idea. I don't see how they made it as long as they did. Because...

I know there's that saying that "opposites attract," and while I'm not disagreeing that this happens a lot, I am saying that these relationships don't tend to last. People who are very different usually don't get a long. Allie and Noah came from very different backgrounds. This should make financial decisions a problem. It would mean they see the world completely different. Also it's just not healthy to fight all the time. It's really not. Yelling isn't a sign of passion. It's a sign this relationship is a bad idea.

And then, there's this. It's the worst example of "no means no" being mistaken for "playing hard to get." Allie really didn't want to go out with him. She'd already said no. She was on a date with another guy. Then this jerk jumps up on the Ferris Wheel and manipulates her into going on a date with him. This kind of persistence should be considered stalking, but since it's a movie it's okay.

There are probably a million other examples, but these were the top three that made me realize that the Romance Genre has influenced me in ways that aren't so good. It's taught me that scary bad boys are a good thing (Anakin), I should be flattered by harassment level persistence (Noah), and intense, all-consuming, social life ending romance should be a goal (Edward). It's a wonder I'm dating a reasonable human being at all.