The role of an older sibling is not something that you typically have a say in. As a child, you are just told “you’re going to be a big sister” and as an adolescent, you react in one of two ways. You are either overjoyed that you will have a permanent best friend or you think the world is ending because you have to share your parents. Regardless of the reaction, one thing is certain: another child is coming into your home and you can’t do anything about it. When I found out that I was going to be a big sister I was 1, so as you can imagine, not much input was given from me. At the time I think that I was probably in awe of was the fact that mommy’s belly was growing exponentially, but not much thought was given to this sibling idea. I look back at pictures that were taken the day of my brother’s birth and as I stand in Dalmatian clothes, I can almost feel the curiosity of 2-year-old me pouring out of the picture wondering who this little baby boy was.

From that moment on my brother and me were officially sentenced to a lifetime of bonding and getting along. We had our ups and downs as children. Between fighting over toys and arguing with each other, we were the typical siblings. Regardless of any fight we ever got in growing up, I wouldn’t change my brother for the world.

I have learned that rather than ever thinking a sibling is any type of burden, realize that they are one of the greatest things your parents brought into your life. My brother has played a lot of roles in my life and each has been more than necessary. As time has passed my brother has been my friend, motivator, supporter, and protector. In each instance, I never took the time to stop and think how truly blessed I was to have him in my life, but now as I actually allow the words to flow from my brain I realize how much I have taken him for granted and how much I have overlooked the role of older sister.

This sibling role has proved to be a two-way street. I have been as influential in my bother’s life as he is in mine and all along I never even stopped to notice it. Being a big sister is one of the proudest things that my life consists of. I always thought that the advice I was giving was going in one ear and out the other, but as I see the young man that he has transformed into, I know that some of my advice has lead him to where he is today. He is a young freshman in college, excelling in school. Out of all of the leadership positions I’ve held and any other accolades I could receive, none of them come close to being Danny’s big sister.

Being a big sister means that you are no longer making decisions solely for yourself, but realizing that you are leading by example. You are representing something larger than yourself. If you fail, you are failing him, and that sort of failure is not an option. Brother, if you do decide to read this I hope you know that being your big sister is the best accountability method that has ever existed. I always wanted to show you I could do great things so that you would work to one-up me and do better. My success has and always will come second to yours because family facilitates on selflessness. To my readers who are wondering what you are supposed to get out of this story, I hope the message is this: regardless if you are an only child or not, know that there is probably someone sitting in the background looking for someone to take their hand and show them the way. Be the one that picks them up and helps them push on. Be the person that believes in them even when they don’t believe in themselves. Be their change and never give up on them. When they succeed, it will be the greatest feeling and one of your proudest moments.