Ah, spring is in the air. The trees are blooming, there's a warm breeze blowing across campus, and what's that I see? Is that a....proposal?! Ring by Spring has begun my friends and this means soon not only will most of us be third wheeling hardcore, but LU crushes will be raging with shout outs to all the attractive specimens that roam around campus. However, what does ring by spring look like exactly? What are the warning signs and how can we avoid them at all costs? Well, with a little help from Sam and Dean Winchester we might just be able to keep ourselves from not only falling in the so called "love" trap but also keep our friends around us and single as can be.
1. The Cross Campus Sighting
We know the look, the sudden gasp of excitement, when your friend lays eyes on an attractive member of the opposite sex, and they turn to you and say the dreaded phrase, "I wonder if he's/she's single!?". *screams internally*
2. The Stalking Begins
Well on Facebook that is. The countless late night hours of stalking potential mates on social media to see if they are single or not begins not long after the initial sighting. Your friends showing you picture after picture of said person from middle school to present day, because unless they were attractive and angsty back in the day, it's a no go.
3. The Perfectly Crafted Shout Out
Think someone's cute but don't know their name? Hoping to get the attention of that cute girl you admired creepily from afar on the North campus bus? LU crushes is the place to go. This Facebook page is dedicated to helping those who have successfully completed the first step but failed the second to find the girl/guy of their dreams.
4. The First Message
What do I say? How do I act? Is this too cheesy? Will they think I'm creepy? Is this cool enough or way too forward? This string of questioning usually ends in you pressing the send button for your friend or committing a small murder, it can really go either way.
5. The First Date
This is usually characterized by the pile of clothes your roommate has left in the middle of the floor and the amount of cologne/ perfume lingering in the air. You'll see them running around in a panic and trying to be ready on time while peeing at least 50 times out of anxiety.
6. The Debrief
This is the moment when you ask your friend how their date went and they tell you that it went "great" and they really think he's the one. However, this is when you also realize just how single you are.
7. The Approval Stage
This is when all your friends stand together and decide that if he's great, you'll welcome him into the friend group with open arms. However, if he's less than stellar...you're prepared.
8. Now THAT'S a ring.
So your friends have been dating a while and he tells you that it's time. He's stealing her for good and making you the perpetual third wheel. While you're happy for your friend, you also point out to him that they've only known each other since Christmas Convo and that this is a little sudden. Darn you Jerry and your Mistletoe!
While we love joking about "ring by spring" the threat is very real. Hide your friends, hide your roommates, hide anyone close to you so that they won't get sucked in. Know the warning signs and how to protect yourself and those you love, otherwise you might end up extremely single. Salt is advised.
