right person at the wrong time

I went Through A 'Right Person, wrong time' situation, Sometimes Sh*t Happens

I never believed you could find the right person at the wrong time, but sometimes sh*t just happens.

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All my life, I have always been a hopeless romantic at heart. Even growing up, my mom said I was always a little boy crazy, starting when I got my first crush on a boy in pre-school (I might've looked him up on Facebook last month, and boy am I glad that didn't work out). Needless to say, I have always been in love with the idea of love, whether it be rom-coms, high school sweethearts, first love, love at first sight, soulmates, you name it. I love that sh*t.

However, when it has come to my own relationships, I haven't always had the same kind of experience that Noah and Allie did in "The Notebook," or Ross and Rachel in "Friends." Although I know it's unrealistic to have such high expectations in real life, nothing ever stopped me from believing in love, especially when I fell in love for the first time myself.

We first started talking a few months into our junior year of high school, and although we didn't date for several months after we started hanging out, it was pretty apparent that we were a good match for each other. Having been in a few relationships before, I was weary of getting my heart broken again and he was completely understanding of that, even though I'm sure it was frustrating at times. After we became official, we did all the things that high-school couples do; went to school dances, attended each other's holidays and family events, went on way too many movie and dinner dates to remember, and truth be told, it still leaves behind absolutely nothing but memories and the best two (almost three) years of my life.

This isn't to say that our relationship was a walk in the park either because just like any relationship, sh*t got real sometimes. He put up with all of me - my flaws, annoying habits, moodiness during PMS, and most importantly, my anxiety. Before I met him, I had never found anyone who tolerated and embraced all of what I thought made me unwanted or imperfect, which is why it was so easy to love him.

When we found out that we would be going the distance for at least a couple years while in college, that didn't sway the way that we felt about each other. We agreed that no matter what, we would make things work and for a while, things did work, until we encountered what some might call "bad timing." I, however, prefer the term "sh*t happens," because after all, sometimes life just happens like that.

I came across an article about the excuse of finding the right person at the wrong time, and if you would've asked me three months ago, I probably would have had the same perspective as the article did. I would've told you that true love can conquer and no matter what, people will make it work if they desperately want it to work. However, I can honestly say that after my long-term boyfriend and I recently ended things, I see that excuse completely differently, and almost as a valid one.

If you would've asked me this time last year if I thought that I would be single, I'd genuinely tell you no. Before I went away to school, people told me I was absolutely crazy for choosing to stay in a relationship while going away to college. "Don't you want to live your life? Don't you want to be able to experience college without being tied down?" they'd ask. I found out rather quickly that I actually hated the college hookup scene, and was thankful that I didn't have to deal with any of it. However, college didn't get in the way of our relationship, life did.

Yes, we both made several sacrifices in our relationship in order to make it work, but sometimes it's more than just making sacrifices. I felt as if I wasn't giving him what he deserved in our relationship, and I felt our love beginning to grow selfish. I was juggling a full-time internship, a part-time job, and a babysitting job, barely leaving any time for myself, let alone a boyfriend. Needless to say, I was overwhelmed and realized that although he was nothing but understanding of my busy schedule, that deep down I knew that continuing our relationship simply because I was afraid of losing him was selfish of me. So, I decided it was best to end things, despite still caring for him more than anything.

I've always been a big believer in "if it's meant to be, it'll be" and maybe that'll be what happens with us, maybe it won't. I just think to write off someone's excuse of finding the right person at the wrong time as lazy is definitely a bit of a reach, considering that every relationship is different. Yes, I have come to know a lot of people that simply weren't willing to put in the effort to make a relationship work, but that doesn't mean everyone is like that.

I didn't think it was possible to have to break up with someone who you still loved and cared about. Nonetheless, I didn't want to continue my relationship based on the fear that nobody else would love me like he would, or tolerate the crazy sh** that I sometimes do, like most girls. That to me would have been selfish, holding onto someone because I'm scared he might love someone else the same way he loved me.

I have never believed that each and every person only has strictly one soulmate, simply because that would mean that we'd only have one chance at finding true love.

I think we actually have several soulmates, so it's not to say that I missed out on the one great love of my life. Our love was great, but I don't believe it was our last shot at finding a great love.

My last relationship taught me so much about love and life itself. I learned that sometimes loving someone means letting them go, even if that means that you might have to take a chance at them falling in love with someone else. I learned that you have to trust wholeheartedly that whatever higher power or God, the universe, or just plain old fate will bring you exactly where you need to be. I learned that there is absolutely nothing liberating about living in fear of what the future might hold. I've learned it is okay to be happier by taking some time for yourself.

Most importantly, I've learned that sh*t happens.

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21 Reasons You Should Date Someone Who Was A Camp Counselor

Spouse and parent material, all wrapped up in an animal shirt, Nike shorts, and Chacos.
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1. They shop at Goodwill mostly... low maintenance you could say?

SEE ALSO: The ABC's Of Summer Camp

2. They are pretty awesome at talking to parents... opening days have given good practice for them. Give them 15 minutes and they will become best friends with your parents.

3. Their best friends actually are long distance...so you can wait a while to meet their besties who will want to know everything about you and make sure your intentions are good.

4. They have learned how to look decently presentable without showering for a week... maybe two...you may or may not like this one.

5. They are always down for adventure... sure let's hike for eight miles uphill in the middle of the week!

6. They know what it is like to be woken up at 2 a.m. because someone wet their bed... mom training.

7. They also know how to give the "modest is hottest" talk to the teenage campers... and will help give you a classy future daughter.

8. Building fires is their hidden talent... if you ever get stuck on a deserted island with them they can help you.

9. Animal shirts are a common clothing item... they know how to have fun.

10. They throw killer dance parties... ones your grandma would approve of.

11. They are used to being publicly embarrassed for others (their campers') enjoyment... and usually can take a joke or prank well.

12. They also know how to prank you back... summer camp prepares you for awesome prank wars.

13. If you want to see her with no makeup on just look at her camp photos... natural beauty?

14. They actually love children... they chose to spend a whole summer loving other people's kids; imagine how awesome they will treat their own.

15. Chances are they are a really fun person and will bring out your inner child... yes, climb that random tree and paint your face because it is Wednesday.

16. Their "real job" will come later in life... they will end up being successful. Most employers love to hire former counselors, so it is not a waste of a summer.

17. They know how to hide their favorites in life really well... so if they choose to date you they are basically saying you are their favorite and that is a big deal to them.

18. They have learned how to eat unhealthy food every day for a whole summer and stay in shape... or try to at least.

19. They also are obviously not a diva when it comes to material needs...they went a whole summer without even air conditioning and never complained.

20. If they love you anything like they love their campers your needs will always be put first...they are some of the most selfless people you will ever meet.

21. They love God, living for Him, and have already made a difference in many children's lives... they are the real MVPS.

If you are still looking for a place to work this summer and love adventure, Jesus, and children, apply for Camp Crestridge for Girls; they still have many positions available. I'll be there so you should too!

If you are a boy apply for Camp Ridgecrest for Boys!

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To The Person Staying In An Abusive Relationship

You have worth, and don't let anyone or their actions let you think differently.

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I was going to title this article "to the girl in an abusive relationship," but I think that it's important to note that relationship abuse can happen to any gender in any relationship type. So, with that in mind, here's what you came for.

Let's face it. You've probably seen movies, read books, and heard stories of people that have been in abusive relationships. You know the signs and you've read the pamphlets, but those things don't happen to people who are careful with their heart, right? Well, unfortunately, no. You can reexamine every decision you've made, and not be able to figure out where you went wrong, but still find yourself in a place where you're not happy. It might be a romantic relationship, it might be a friendship, or it might be a relationship with a family member. Either way, if there is a person in your life (male or female) that is damaging your health, I hope that you read these words carefully and do what's best for you. Let me start out with a story…

This is hard for me to write about, I'll admit. I was in a relationship with a guy named Jake recently and I thought he was the love of my life. We were really good friends, and he made me laugh like no one else. The further we got in our relationship, however, the more upset I seemed to find myself. When things were good, I'll admit, they were great. But when Jake did something that upset me, somehow the blame always came back to me. After being together for a while, Jake actually downloaded Tinder (an app predominantly for dating and hookups). He told me he did it, and that it was all just a joke to "mess with people," but the more I thought about it, the more upset I got. I tried talking to him. I tried to tell him that this made me really uncomfortable, and he brushed off my comment saying, "it's just a joke, it shouldn't matter this much to you." If it was just a joke, it shouldn't be that hard to just get rid of it right? But maybe I was overreacting.

I'll also admit, that at the time I was dating Jake, my mental health was in a really bad place. My anxiety was at an all-time high, and balancing school with a relationship isn't an easy feat for a person in the best shape—let alone someone in my position. Because of this, I got overwhelmed very easily. I really tried to explain this to Jake. I wanted him to know that when I cried, it wasn't because I was trying to manipulate him. Things sometimes just got too intense for me, and I started to think the worst. There was nothing I could do to convince my brain otherwise, and things soon started to become a battle both against myself and Jake. I felt ashamed for crying at things that upset me, and I would try to hide it. Because that's what a good girlfriend does. Don't put him through more than he can handle.

One of the hardest things for me to handle in my relationship with Jake was the way he would talk about other girls. He would get on Instagram while we were hanging out and show me pictures of other girls with big butts or tiny waists and say, jokingly "is this going to be you someday?" He didn't mean it to be hurtful, but I've always struggled with body image. From an early age, a close family friend of ours had always commented on my weight. He would come over for meals and tell me I needed to eat less or tell me my shirt was too tight and didn't look good. I revealed these things to Jake early in our relationship, but I think he thought that telling me he thought I could look like those women one day would help me feel better about myself. Either way, it upset me, but I didn't want to upset Jake so I tried to hide my tears and hold my tongue when I could. Maybe I would look like those girls one day because maybe that was what he wanted.

When Jake and I ended up breaking up, I knew it was for the best. Even though I had fallen in love with his family, and my heart was shattered, I knew that I would piece myself back together, stronger than before. I knew while I was in the midst of that relationship that there were things that just weren't right. That wasn't what love looked like, no matter how hard I tried to squint and disfigure what I was seeing. Looking back now, I don't blame Jake for what happened between us. I wasn't in a good place with my mental health, as I've mentioned before, and I know I contributed my fair share of problems. I write this not so that you'll think less of Jake and feel sorry for me, but for anyone who finds themselves in the same situation. Do you find yourself trying to hold back your emotional reactions in attempts to please someone in your life? Do they make you uncomfortable, but after being shot down multiple times for expressing your feelings, you just try to make it bother you less? If you feel deep down inside yourself that something isn't right, then you know that more than one thing is probably wrong.

Emotional abuse doesn't come with outside bruises that physical abuse does. Yes, there are women out there being told that they're useless and getting shoved into walls because of it, but that doesn't mean that your problems are any less important. It's going to be hard to remove yourself from the relationship with an abusive person, no matter what role they play in your life. It'll probably break your heart some, but time heals just about all wounds. You need to do what's going to be best for all aspects of your health in the long run. Surround yourself with people who love you unconditionally, and if you need to cry, do it. There is nothing wrong with experiencing your emotions and being a little selfish to take care of yourself.

**I want to add a note to any family or friends who might know Jake. I don't hate him or wish him ill, and, again, this article was not meant to put him in a bad light. It was simply a bad relationship and we both contributed to its final destruction. I'm happy now with the person I've become, and I'm making my way to a better place day by day. That's all that matters and I thank everyone for their love and support**

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