Why I Rid Myself Of Toxic Friendships

Why I Rid Myself Of Toxic Friendships

Why I am no longer friends with the people I learned were toxic to me.
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They say that when you graduate high school you’ll see who your true friends are. When I graduated, I thought I knew who was sticking by my side. I knew that the friendships of just casually hanging out once in a blue moon and my school only/sport only friendships would be history. However, I would’ve never thought that people who I have cried with, the people who I shared secrets with, the people who I would hit up for a midnight food run, the people that I imagined would one day be in my wedding, the people who I considered family, would eventually turn into the people I just awkwardly say “hey” to when passing them at the grocery store. I’m not saying that every single person this has happened with was toxic to me, sometimes people just drift apart, sad but true. But for some, time away from them made me realize some things I’ve never seen in them before.

At one point, I thought that these people were good people. Little did I ever realize, they weren’t good people, they just did some good things. Whenever they did mean things to me, I defended them with all the good they’d do for me. I was blinded by the negativity they would throw on me. They would yell at me if I was associated with someone they didn’t like and say that that person was changing me into a disgusting person, but they wouldn’t even know I was associated with them until a picture is posted of us together. They would insult me and the things I did, but then another day defend and compliment me. They would call me stupid and try to “mom” me because I apparently couldn’t take care of myself, but in reality, I just wasn’t as afraid of the world as they were. But then I would remember all the memories we shared, all the adventures we’ve taken on, and all the heart to hearts we had. I remembered the times I called them crying and they took care of me. I remembered all the deep personal things they’d tell me, and all the things they have been through. I cared about them, and when you care about somebody you ignore the negatives.

But when you leave, and the positive memories come to a pause, the negatives become more clear.

I began to see how one way of friendships they were. Yeah sure, they paid for a few things of mine, they comforted me on occasions, but that didn’t override all of the bad. You’re not supposed to belittle your friends. You’re not supposed to yell at them until they cry just because you disagree with something they’re doing. That isn’t “being the mom friend”, that’s being a bitch. A mom friend gets you a ride if you’re too drunk, or holds your hair back then makes you soup when you're sick, or acts as a therapist when you need one. It is not someone who acts as if they are above you and complains about the way you acted to others later on.

I don’t regret those friendships because they made me grow more of a backbone. I learned to stand up for myself and the choices I make. I learned to not let myself be taken advantage of. I learned that you can only sympathize people to an extent. I learned that you can not fix a person, the only ones who can help them is themselves.

Negativity is contagious - it’s toxic. The best way to be happy is to disconnect yourself from all the miserable people. Life can be amazing, but it is also short. Don’t just put up with people, embrace them or let them go.

Cover Image Credit: Thought Catalog

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14 Fraternity Guy Gifts Ideas, Since He Already Has Enough Beer

Frat boys are a species of their own and here are some exciting gifts they will be ecstatic to receive!

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What more do frat boys love than alcohol, partying, and just acting stupid? Here are some gifts that help fulfill all of those needs for the frat boy in your life!

1. Beer holster belt

Whats better than one beer? Six beers! This fashionable camouflage accessory can be used for tailgates, beach days, formals and everything in between.

Price: $8.49

2. Phone juul holder 

You know those cardholders everyone sticks on the back of their phones? Well, now a Juul holder for your phone is on the market! This will save your favorite frat boy from ever again losing his Juul!

Price: $10.98

3. Animal house poster 

This Animal House poster is a classic staple for any frat boy. This poster will compliment any frat house decor or lack thereof.

Price: $1.95

4. The American Fraternity book

Does the frat boy in your life need a good read for Thanksgiving or winter break? Look no farther, this will certainly keep his attention and give him a history lesson on American fraternity heritage and tradition.

Price: $28.46

5. Beer pong socks 

These snazzy socks featuring beer pong will be loved by any frat boy. As for the way to any frat boy's heart may, in fact, be beer pong.

Price: $12.00

6. Condom case

This condom carrying case will not only protect condoms from damage but also make frat boys more inclined to practice safe sex, which is a win-win situation!

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7. Frat house candle

Ahhh yes, who does not like the smell of stale beer in a dark, musty frat house basement? Frat boys can make their apartment or bedroom back home smell like their favorite place with the help of this candle.

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8. "Frat" sticker

Frat boys always need to make sure everyone around them knows just how "fratty" they are. This versatile stick can go on a laptop, car, water bottle, or practically anywhere their little hearts desire.

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9. Natty Light t-shirt 

Even I will admit that this shirt is pretty cool. The frat boy in your life will wear this shirt at every possible moment, it is just that cool!

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10. Natty light fanny pack 

This fanny pack can absolutely be rocked by any frat boy. The built-in koozie adds a nice touch.

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11. Bud Light Neon Beer Sign 

A neon beer sign will be the perfect addition to any frat boys bedroom.

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13. Frat House Dr. Sign

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Forget stealing random street signs, with this gift frat boys no longer have to do so.

14. Beer Lights 

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Please note that prices are accurate and items in stock as of the time of publication. As an Amazon Associate, Odyssey may earn a portion of qualifying sales.

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This Thanksgiving I’ll Say, 'Thank U, Next' To My Ex-Best Friends

I am thankful for what they have taught me and how they have shaped me into a better version of myself!

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Recently, I have had Ariana's latest song "Thank U, Next" on repeat. I love the message of positivity and self-love that it sends. As I listened to it, though, I realized I wasn't exactly connecting it to any of my ex-boyfriend's (I'm still thankful for them, too), but rather my ex-best friends. So, this Thanksgiving, I thought I should show some thanks for what they have taught me and how they have helped me grow.



To the friend who taught me love:

You were once someone I considered a sister. From the moment I met you, we had an indescribable bond that lasted for almost eight years. You showed me what it truly means to have a best friend that is more like family. Towards the end of our high school days, the foundation of our friendship weakened, and life got in the way. I don't want you to ever believe that I am not thankful for all of the years of our friendship. You cried with me when I was heartbroken over the boy who I thought I'd never get over. You fangirled with me over band members we thought we might marry one day. You laughed with me over dumb jokes. Most of all, you were the best friend I ever had. Every day I think about you, and I hope that your life is treating you well. I know after college, you'll be so successful. I only wish the best for you.

To the friend who taught me patience:

We became close at a time in both of our lives where we struggled with mental illness. We fought it together and created a bond out of what we were struggling through. You helped me immensely through that time in my life. You guided me through a toxic relationship, one that came in between our friendship at one point. We lost touch for about a year, but when we reconnected our bond grew even stronger than it was before. You were extremely real with me. You never sugar coated anything, you helped me find closure with a lot in my life. We drifted apart as we made new friends, but I still love to watch you thrive. I will never forget the many football games we went to together, or the late-night talks about what we were struggling with. You helped me on the path to loving and accepting myself, and for that I thank you.

To the friend who taught me pain:

You came into my life in a unique way. We built our friendship through text message, and our bond was something so new and fresh to me at the time. I remember the intense excitement I felt when I finally had the chance to meet you for the first time. You made promises to me that I thought you would keep. I thought you were a forever friend. A few years into our friendship, I could feel you slipping through my fingers. We argued often, you canceled plans at last minute, and I clung onto something that didn't exist anymore. I reminisced on times where we would stay up till the early hours of the morning, texting each other, trying to comprehend how much our friendship meant to one another. Our friendship, that was once so deep and meaningful soon became extremely toxic. We didn't talk for months straight after our last and biggest fight, and once we finally did, you had given up on me. You taught me some of the worst pain I have ever experienced in any friendship. I am so grateful for our friendship because you taught me that I needed to put myself first. You taught me that I needed to be my own best friend.

"I know they say I find new best friends too fast, but this friendship will last, 'cause her name is Emma and I'm so good with that." I am my own best friend, now. I pick myself up when I fall and I grow stronger through my struggles with my own guidance. Each one of my ex-best friends has guided me to become the independent person I am today, and for that, I am so grateful.

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