As I become older, I have realized what I want in my life. I know that I want a life that I can depend on, something that I can be proud of. I want to be happy. I want my hard work to pay off. All my time and dedication will symbolize the freedom that I have rightfully earned. I want independence.
Yes, I want a family. However, I want to have a life of my own. I do not want to be a housewife. I do not want to have everyone depend solely on me. I want to share a community with my spouse. A community of hard work and equality. I want my children to depend as much on me as they do their father.
Recently, I learned the grueling tasks of what I imagined motherhood would feel like. I was stuck with the chores that my mother winds up doing for me because she was out of town. It was the realization of how much my mom does for me and how great she truly is. I should have realized it sooner. I should have, but now that I know how exhausting her role is, I will not let it slip my mind. Why hadn’t I helped her all these years?
I have lived on my own, but taking care of a whole family is completely different. I eat eggs for breakfast, lunch and dinner when I am fending for myself. My mother, on the other hand, always seems to have amazing meals planned for us and makes us something else if we do not enjoy the dish she initially made. She has things under control at all times with little help from others. I understand how great that is. She is a mastermind. However, I do not think that I could handle her role that she possesses.
I need a little help. I will not settle without help from my children and my spouse. I believe that my parents allowed me to have an amazing upbringing but I should have reached out more. I should have understood my mother’s role sooner. Understanding her role has helped me to see life in a different way. It has allowed me to become kinder and more routine in my life.
I will show my children how to work hard. I will teach them the passion that it takes to be responsible and live a free life. They need to learn those difficult tasks that I learned so recently. I want them to see that they can depend on both their father and I for guidance and not just on me. While I realize my anatomy is supposed to determine the fate of my parenting, I would rather not let it. I want my spouse and I to have equal roles in my children’s lives.
“Lucy, I am home,” should be said as often as “Ricky, I am home.” Equality will be a word that my children know so well. My children will depend on both parents, but also themselves. I want to teach them how hard it is to live a great life. They will see how hard-working they need to become to be successful people sooner than I learned myself.
