There is a sort of glorification of being home for the summer. Aspects of it are wonderful, yes. I love spending quality time with my family, having mobility and free time, the glory of home cooked meals and time to relax from the pressures of school. Still, I am going to say it: it kind of sucks sometimes. Do you ever find yourself wondering about your ex-best friend, gossiping about the boy that got away or spending hours sitting at your old hang out? Do you find yourself uncomfortable with those actions when you come to?
It is revertigo - a term coined by a favorite show of mine, "How I Met Your Mother." When placed in familiar surroundings, people fall into familiar patterns. When I am home, I find myself worrying about people I don't care about, reading less, tapping into the world less and slipping back into a younger, less mature self.
The freedom in college allows for a lot of self-discovery. The changes to personality during this period of young adulthood are immeasurable So when you go back to a place, and revert to a pattern of behavior that creates friction with the newly discovered parts of your personality, it is bound to create tension within you. That is OK.
As hard as this can be, it is a good thing. Moving on is healthy, especially from aspects of childhood. This doesn't mean you have to move on from all parts of your home, or that short breaks in your bed aren't healthy from time to time. Still, if we were comfortable all the time doing the exact thing over and over again, we would never grow. This level of discomfort from revertigo shows a level of happiness and peace at where you are at. If you have something to look forward to, you are headed in the right direction.
When humans are young, and expand, clothes become restrictive. The pain from that is a symbol of positive change. This is the same. Any frustration, boredom or mental pain coming from reverting back to a younger, less mature self is just a sign that you are moving in a good direction. So embrace your revertigo, and know what it means. You are moving on to bigger and better things.
