This is not the first time I write about Venezuela. This time is different because I am not going to write about what is happening or about how it felt when I left. I am writing about coming back home after almost a year. You have to understand that in Venezuela, with all the crises, the changes are drastic. I think the most shocking thing to see are the prices because everything is too expensive and it is impossible to imagine the quantity of money you need for basic things. I wanted to visit my country. I missed the people, my family, my friends, my dog, and even the city. For me it didn't matter that every single day the situation got more dangerous because I needed to visit.

When I got off the plane the welcoming was that the AC was not working. I was used to this because it always happened. Imagine getting off a plane in an airport, which is by the beach, in a tropical country and having no AC. For the ones that are just arriving it's endurable, but I don't know how the workers can be there all day and not say anything.

After, you go to immigration and then you grab your bags, still no AC. When we got our bags (my parents', my sister's, and my bag) we finally made the line to go out. As soon as you go out your paranoia instincts kick in. You don't trust anyone, you grab your things close to your body, and you keep walking even when people are talking to you. Something that shocked me was seeing little boys asking for food to the people who are going out of the terminal. The thing is that you cannot stop because there are so many people that you don't know if they want to distract you while someone picks something from your bag.

The last time I went to Venezuela you could see the people desperately looking for food, but this time it was shocking to see how many small children were asking for food. You will never know what it feels to see your people starve and don't know if you should trust them and help them. Then, when you go out to the street, you just walk straight to the car and don't let anyone help you with your luggage. Of course, you do all of this while looking around for suspicious looking people. Once you are in the car you are "safe", but you still have to drive up to Caracas (the capital where I live).

Don't get me wrong, I think Venezuela is one of the most beautiful countries and I wouldn't change it for any other country. But, I had forgotten how it was to live in a natural state of paranoia 24/7, even if it is second nature to me. When you are in your car you have to be careful that there are no cars following you closely, or motorcycles close to you. Also, this time, I saw a lot of messages against the president in the highway and that was something that you didn't see before. This time I could see that people were unhappy and they were not afraid of expressing it. There were messages like "Maduro Dictator" or "The people are hungry" all over the highway. My family still lives there, I have friends that still live there, and they are out on the streets protesting. You will never know the feeling of crying for people who died in the protests and you never met. You will never understand what it is to pray for everyone to be safe and then find yourself following the news all the day. You will never know what it is to feel divided between your new life and your life in Venezuela.

I am proud of being Venezuelan and I am happy of having the opportunity to visit in this critical time. For those who do not know what is happening please inform yourselves. Venezuelans need the world to hear what is happening. For the Venezuelans who are living in the exile, we know you support us so don't give up just yet. Venezuela is a country under construction right now and even if the prizes change and the insecurity rises I will never stop thinking that Venezuela is my home and someday I will return to raise my children how I was raised.

There are ways for you to help if you want:

Medical Supplies: https://www.gofundme.com/envio-de-insumos-protestas-vzla

Medicine and First Aid: https://www.gofundme.com/medicine-first-aid-to-venezuela

Support Young Journalist: https://www.gofundme.com/eltamborve

Feed the Protest: https://www.generosity.com/…/alimenta-la-protesta-feed-the-…

Pop-up Clinics for Children: http://www.gofundme.com/childrenven