It is not a secret that immersion in our society teaches us, from childhood well into our adult years, to be conscious of our appearances, interests, actions, words, body language, ect. We depend upon these social cues to function around other people, and satisfy an innate biological need to categorize people, so that our brains are better able to gather information about our surroundings. While this is not necessarily a bad thing, self-awareness can very easily become self-consciousness.
Being a young, college-aged female, swimming in societal interaction with people of all ages, I can see how it is very easy to over-analyze one’s self.
“What is my hair doing today?”
“I forgot to shave my legs, and he’s going to think I’m gross...”
“Crap! Cute guy. Don’t make eye contact. Don’t make eye contact."
“She’s freaking perfect, and I’m having an ugly day. It’s cool.”
All are thoughts that have crossed my mind or escaped my lips at one point or another, as they do for many others. Perhaps the harshest and most freeing thing I’ve ever been told, and have regurgitated to others ever since, is that nobody cares.
Nobody cares. That is all. Frustratingly simplistic, isn’t it?
The nature of interacting with other humans, and constantly analyzing ourselves to the point of it becoming a detriment can be combated by examining the thought processes of other people, most of whom also have at least one thing about themselves that they are not crazy about.
Logically, if everyone is busy living their lives and analyzing themselves as you are, the natural conclusion is that there is no one around who cares enough to notice and judge you for the things that you may be insecure about. Human nature lends us a natural inclination towards conceitedness, so the masses aren’t focused on you.
But, what about the selfless people and people who don’t have insecurities?
Glad you asked. Those people who manage to shift their head spaces from completely self-focused states of being to more humanitarian-oriented states of being will hopefully not be jerks who go around judging people anyways. The rarities who literally don’t have insecurities of their own to begin with are assumed to be content people who also do not concern themselves with nitty-gritty details about you.
They don’t know you. Why would they focus on you? You don’t have rude thoughts about your average stranger walking down the street, do you? Probably not because, like them, you have other things to focus on in your life.
And, there you have it. Your ticket to freedom from insecurity is understanding that you are a person like anybody else, and your fly away hairs, extra belly pooch, the wrinkles by your eyes and the pimple on your back just don’t matter.
When you stop sweating the small stuff, you are gifting yourself more time, energy and freedom from the inhibitions that hold people back in their relationships and professional lives.
When you stop sweating the small stuff, you are doing more than complaining that society espouses negative messages because you are living in a way that intentionally chooses to not accept that.
When you stop sweating the small stuff, you are teaching other people what love and self-appreciation look like.
The next time a negative thought creeps in, smile and remember that the only person affected by that thought is you because, truly, nobody cares.
