Dear AbriAna,
First of all, let me say this — I am sorry that you have experienced negativity about your body shape and size. No one deserves that, and I know how damaging it can be.
I, too, am a size zero. I am coming to you having faced the same "eat a cheeseburger" and "real women" comments. But after reading your article, I felt compelled to respond. Please keep your mind open to what I am about to say.
"We all want to preach about unrealistic body standards, but what's the harm of being naturally thin or desiring to stay within a smaller weight range? [sic]"
Inherently, there is nothing wrong with being naturally thin or wanting to stay smaller. But, as you pointed out, there are young girls who will be impacted by these outside factors. Eating disorders and unhealthy body image run rampant among younger girls. "Healthy" might be a size zero for you. It might be a 16 for someone else. But someone who is healthy at a size 16 does not need to starve herself down to a zero. And the "harm" lies in young, impressionable girls who do think they need to starve themselves. Your desire is harmless. Your hurtful comments to others are harmful.
"...[women are] also the first ones wishing to wear the crop tops and short shorts I wear. Is it that you secretly wish you could look like me or is it that you truly hate the body I possess?"
Women wishing they could wear what you wear is probably not as big of an epidemic as your mind is making it. Does your wish to "attack a size 16" mean that you truly hate the body they possess? Or that you secretly wish you could look like them? Not everyone wishes to be a size zero — in the same way that not everyone wishes to be a size 16.
As women, we all have things about our bodies that we don't like. And whether you recognize those things about yourself or not, your confidence in your own body size is no excuse to tear others down. Assuming that anyone who isn't your size or definition of attractive wants to fit your standards is both the perfect example of "thin privilege" and "arrogance." You'd never assume that someone bigger than you would think you'd want their body size.
"Or is it a insecurity [sic] that your man would want someone like me over someone like you. If that's the case than [sic] he's obviously not someone you should be with."
Men aren't totally inept as humans. They have their own preferences and opinions. Not every man wants a skinny girl. Not every man wants a curvy girl. And if a man looks deeper than appearance, looks at relationships and character, then your attitude that shames other women isn't going to be an attractive quality- and on the off chance it is, at least to the man you're with, then "he's obviously not someone you should be with."
Please don't dictate who should be with who — there aren't expectations or standards of which body type or size should be with another. No one "died and made these standards," and that includes you.
"Rather it be insecurities or not [sic], please figure it out and stop body shaming us and we'll stop body shaming you."
Whether it be your insecurities or not, please figure it out and stop determining your actions based on the actions of others. Other people do not have to be polite to you for you to be decent to them. And remember — they could ask you to stop body shaming them before they stop body shaming you.
"When I complain about how I feel, no one listens because I'm lucky to be skinny- so I have nothing to complain about [sic]."
I understand that people tell you that you're "lucky to be skinny," that you're lucky to be able to "eat whatever you want and never get fat." I've had those comments, too. I know they sting. Why write an article that complains about shaming thin people, while you simultaneously shaming others?
From a body-positive advocate,
Sarah Kinger
