First off, I would like to say thank you to Miss Carly for this article. I say thank you because you have accurately articulated how relationships operate today: there is a lack of desire to commit, and it is not often communicated well. As a result, feelings are hurt, friendships are destroyed, and resenting attitudes/behaviors follow. This trend seems to be particularly pervasive throughout our generation.
That being said, I would like to address the first portion of the article: In the beginning of her piece, she comments on how guys do not ask girls out on dates, but rather use them for sexual enjoyment. Her comment is in line with the notion that men view women as objects rather than human beings. When I shared this article on Facebook, one of my friends further added to this by mentioning the various expectations that men have of women. These expectations make dating even more difficult than it already is.
All generalizations aside, I am in agreement with this. Not only is it backed by scientific research, but it is also prevalent in our culture by various means. What comes to mind here are the porn and music industries. It seems that the unfortunately common perception of women to the heterosexual male consists of being submissive and readily available. Some might be reading this and think that this is nothing new. Others might read this and think about how the other side can be just as guilty.
While the opening of Miss Carly's article has some truth to it, one must wonder if it is always the man that burdens the responsibility of the relationship. In response to this, I can see many commenting on how women also have unusual expectations, among other things. I'll let other comments speak on that.
Another article that I came across a few months ago echo these sentiments. In a stark contrast, the author for this piece actually apologizes for the way women treat men. What I found particularly striking about this piece was the acknowledgement of hurt that can exist in relationships between men and women. Many men would attribute the hurt they experienced by other women to why they behave the way they do. While being hurt does not give anyone a license to hurt others (Golden Rule anyone?), it does provide a further look into relationship dynamics. It acknowledges that the key to maintaining relationships is dependent on both parties not just merely cooperating with each other, but also going out of their way to make each other better versions of themselves.
In a previous article, I posed the following questions: When we date, where does it lead to? Or rather, where do WE want it to lead to?
Emphasizing the 'WE', what is it that 'WE' seek out of the other person? Because it seems that we truly do not know.
Even though not knowing is normal, I fear that involving others in our uncertainty will continue this graying of our relationships.
