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Reports Of Facebook Removing Fake News Are FALSE

Don't believe everything you see!

Tucker Atwood

Nov 21, 2016

University of Maine

Reports Of Facebook Removing Fake News Are FALSE

NBC News

BREAKING: You may have seen some reports that Facebook's creator, Mark Zuckerberg, is planning on removing the fake news that has been polluting Facebook's timeline recently. Well, The Odyssey is proud to be the first to tell you that THIS IS FAKE. In fact, here's an excerpt directly from an interview conducted two days ago between Zuckerberg and Odyssey's top correspondents:

ODYSSEY: Hello, Mr. Zuckerberg. First of all, thank you for being here.

ZUCKERBERG: screw you, you suck. lol.

ODYSSEY: Is this true? Are you truly saying, as Mark Zuckerberg, the real-life creator of the news outlet Facebook, that we suck?

ZUCKERBERG: trump realy won in a landslide but voter fraud an the owned media were trying to convinse u it was close

ODYSSEY: I...I'm sorry, what? Are you saying that fake news will be removed from Facebook? That I will finally be able to trust everything my friends say again?

ZUCKERBERG:

ODYSSEY: Oh, uh, that's cute. Well, thank you for your--

ZUCKERBERG: Yes, I'm keeping fake news on Facebook. You think I'm going to waste my precious time contacting people at Snopes because someone was offended by their uncle's reaction to an Onion article? You think I'm just now noticing that there are little white lies printed all over the Internet in all caps, turning a divided world against itself to the point of mass destruction? Grow up. Everybody knows that freedom of speech is close to its death sentence, so it might as well go out partying. Fake news is great for my business, and it's part of what defines the Internet now.

ODYSSEY: Okay, I actually think this helps--

ZUCKERBERG:

Odyssey was unable to continue the interview, as it appears that Mr. Zuckerberg deleted his Facebook account shortly after sending his last GIF.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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25 Beatles Lyrics: Your Go-To Guide for Every Situation

The Best Lines from the Fab Four

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For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

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Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

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Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

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Reports Of Facebook Removing Fake News Are FALSE

Don't believe everything you see!

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The Best Lines from the Fab Four

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make

The sun is up, the sky is blue, it's beautiful and so are you

Love is old, love is new, love is all, love is you

There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be

Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend

He say, "I know you, you know me", One thing I can tell you is you got to be free

Oh please, say to me, You'll let me be your man. And please say to me, You'll let me hold your hand

It was twenty years ago today, Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play. They've been going in and out of style, but they're guaranteed to raise a smile

Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see

Can you hear me? When it rains and shine, it's just a state of mind

Little darling, it's been long cold lonely winter. Little darling, it feels like years since it' s been here. Here comes the sun, Here comes the sun, and I say it's alright

We danced through the night and we held each other tight, and before too long I fell in love with her. Now, I'll never dance with another when I saw her standing there

I love you, I love you, I love you, that's all I want to say

You say you want a revolution. Well you know, we all want to change the world

All the lonely people, where do they all come from. All the lonely people, where do they all belong

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends

Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday

And when the brokenhearted people, living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be.

And anytime you feel the pain, Hey Jude, refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders

I'll give you all I got to give if you say you'll love me too. I may not have a lot to give but what I got I'll give to you. I don't care too much for money. Money can't buy me love

All you need is love, love is all you need

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Blackbird singing in the dead of night, Take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Though I know I'll never lose affection, for people and things that went before. I know I'll often stop and think about them. In my life, I love you more

Obviously the best superpower.

There have been many lessons learned.

1. The importance of traditions.

2. How to be thankful for family and friends.

3. How to give back.

4. What the word "community" really means.

5. That it isn't about the destination, but the journey.

6. The consequences of making bad choices.

7. To trust people, until you have a reason not to.

8. To be welcoming and accepting of everyone.

9. How to be my own, individual person.

10. How to work for what I want.

11. How to be great at giving directions.

12. How to be humble.

13. To be well-rounded.

14. How to be great at conflict resolution.

15. The beauty of getting outside and exploring.

16. To be prepared for anything.

17. That you don't always have to do it alone.

18. How to be creative.

19. To brush off gossip.

I have never been so thankful to know you.

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Don't freak out

Email the professor

Attend the first class

Keep attending class

Have a backup plan

Remember that everything works out at the end

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