Sometimes you don't realize how toxic somebody is to you until you truly take a step away from them. Sometimes you're so used to someone's actions that you don't even notice how toxic they are until it finally starts to affect you. Sometimes you care about someone so much that you would rather have them be toxic in your life than not in it. Sometimes you want to try to save them, help them and change them, only to realize that saving them means possibly losing yourself.
I've been there. I'm sure we all have, in a variety of different ways.
Everyone becomes intoxicated by people, situations, places and things. Whatever it is, please let go of it.
I was that girl who got involved with people, friendships and relationships, and I was blind to the fact that some of them were beyond toxic to me and affecting my life in a negative way and putting me in toxic situations and places. I would slowly start to lose myself, by trying to save them. That is an extremely toxic state of mind to live in. You think that it will go away, the confusion, the exhaustion, the feeling of being "numb". You think that after you help them, save them or change them, you'll be able to focus on yourself and you'll go back to your normal self and state of mind. But truly, the process of getting to that point will leave you worse, not better.
You shouldn't have to drown in order for others to be able to breathe.
I've learned that in reality, I can't help, change or save everyone, no matter how much I wish I could. I have learned that it is great to care for people and to want to help them. But I've also learned that you can only do that to a certain extent. There is a difference between helping someone who's important to you by being there for them, giving them advice, comfort and support, and helping someone who's important to you by being consumed into the mess they are in, being dragged down with them, and losing your happiness in order to help them find theirs.
The point is —don't let yourself get to the point of losing yourself to save somebody else. People need your help, and you need people's help too. But when someone starts to become toxic in your life, you need to let go. It's hard to decide if someone is toxic to your life or not, but I think it comes down to this: If someone's worries become more important than your own worries, if someones happiness or well being becomes a priority before your own happiness and well being, if someone makes you feel like their unhappiness should be your problem or your biggest worry or concern, if you are changing your lifestyle in a negative way to accommodate to them, if you slowly start to notice your happiness fade, your everyday activities change, your state of mind changing negatively, your health changing negatively —mentally or physically, then your life has become intoxicated.
It is okay to let go of toxic people
Take a step back
Find some clarity
You'll realize that the people that impact your life in a positive way are the ones you should keep around.
AGAIN, you shouldn't have to drown in order for others to be able to breathe.
Yes, adjusting to life without those toxic people in it is extremely weird and it can be very hard. BUT, it will free you, your life will change drastically, and you can become consumed by the joy that the people who effect your life positively radiate.
I am encouraging you all to reevaluate your life and the people in it. I encourage you all to let go of the people who bring negativity and are toxic to you. I encourage you to free yourself from the people who drag you down. I encourage you to put just as much effort in YOUR OWN well being as you put into the people you care about well being.
You have the power to free yourself from the intoxication.
& I hope you choose to do that.
