Bullying is a hot topic in today’s society. As more light is shed on this intimidating, rude and threatening type of confrontation, it’s hard to know who realizes they’re actually being a bully and who doesn’t.
The only thing worse than a rude person, is someone who doesn’t think they’re rude, when in fact, they are. The kind of person who honestly thinks they’re inclusive and generous — and maybe they can be at times, or to certain people — but are actually the bane of your existence.
This special type of person comes in every shape, size and eye-rolling-form.
They don’t disappear after middle school, high school or even college, but they’re instead found scattered throughout your place of work, the gym or even standing next to you at a concert.
They cringe at the idea of bullying, but are the first to criticize without being constructive or helpful.
Although their first impression is often intimidating, they might offer to help you at times. Heck, they might even go as far as befriending you — remember, these people don’t realize they’re sucking the life out of some people around them, but instead they think they’re doing the people around them a favor.
These are confusing beings, I tell ya.
To top it off, they actually are shocked at the idea of someone telling them they’re exactly what they think they aren’t.
It wasn’t until I was on the receiving end of this type of conflict that I understood just how hurtful people can be without realizing it.
Sure, it’s very important to stand up for yourself, but not everyone has the kind of drive or bravery to do so. Therefore, it’s just as important to stand up for others, and to tell jerks when they’re being jerks — because, again, maybe they don’t realize how mean they actually are.
I’ll never understand that, because my subconscious would literally eat me alive while a regret-filled weight sat on my chest.
But these people — and their oblivion — actually exist. Whether it’s the way they’re raised, a life-altering instance or the mere fact that no one has ever called them out, there are people who, on the inside, are as jerky as it can get, but on the outside, put on a kind persona.
So call them out. Ask them if everything’s okay. Let them know they’re spiraling into a regret-filled direction of jerkness.
If they choose not to better themselves or to take the actions necessary to fix their attitude, then maybe they already know they’re a bully. But just like the masked jerks, the bullies aren’t going to go away.
Tattling in the working world doesn’t work quite like it did at recess, and security guards at general admission concerts can only do so much. At some point in your life, you have to understand yourself enough to stand up for who you are, what you believe in and what you’ll fight against. The boss isn’t going to save you like your lunch-duty teacher did.
Does that mean you have to be a jerk back? No. Do you have to verbally fight back? No. But like Michelle Obama said, “when they go low, we go high.”
Growing into a bully fighting, self loving, dream chasing individual takes time and practice, and it might never get perfect. But just like you hope that these jerks take the route of bettering themselves, you can continue on the up-and-up, too.
Going to bed at night knowing that you’re being the best version of you — and helping other people get to their best version — has got to be better than sitting back and watching idiocracy take place, right?
If you’re reading this questioning your actions, that’s not necessarily a bad thing. It’s your chance to become better, to be nicer and to help those around you.
Keep those who treat you right and care about you close, and start pulling others who don’t have that kind of shield, closer.
And if you’re not the type of person to step in and help or speak your mind, there are still ways you can help. Visit websites like UpStand, Just Say YES and Stomp Out Bullying — educate yourself on spotting jerks, helping those on the receiving end and empowering others to help others, instead of hurt others.
Maybe you, or the people around you, didn't have to recite the golden rule in elementary school like we did.
The golden rule is simple, really: treat others the way you want to be treated.
