The summer before college, I lived in some sort of denial. It truly did not hit me that I was leaving until the night beforehand. Then, all I could think about was defining myself as a Hattiesburg transplant. For my entire life, I had lived in Mobile, Alabama; my college career would be my first time away from home. I never was the summer camp type of kid.

Now, the first semester is almost over. What I realized in these past few months, after a breakdown and weekly counselor sessions, is that I had been afraid to truly settle down in Hattiesburg. Like a childhood toy, I clutched Mobile close to my heart, and refused to fully give Hattiesburg a chance. I called this new foreign place a "concrete jungle”; I cried when the weekend reached its close and I had to make the ninety-minute drive across the Alabama/Mississippi line; I considered relocating to the University of South Alabama in my hometown.

As my counselor aptly put it, I have been afraid to dig deep and set roots. Yes, I joined a sorority; I made friends on the dorm hall; I acted like I was truly happy in Hattiesburg (fake it til you make it, right?). But I refused to fully open my heart to the Hub City. I made the library my new home to do homework; I slept too much; I turned down invitations to hang out; I only went to the chapter house when required. I just couldn't wait until it was time to drive back to Mobile again. It all seemed so temporary.

Everyone has their defense mechanisms. My reaction just happened to be shutting down and counting the minutes. As if Hattiesburg is not permanent, as if there are not any other options besides transience.

Not the most ideal of situations, but now I know better. Over the recent weeks, I put myself out there and applied to different positions around campus. I reach out to friends when my mental health slips. I went to the Hattiesburg Zoo. I am doing my best.

If you stumbled across this article, please view it as a reminder of sorts. If you are somewhere new, if you are a college freshman like yours truly, don’t be like my mom, where her friends kept her address in pencil. Temporary shallow roots only do so much. Don’t be like me, and shut other people and different opportunities out. Try to make your new place home -- whether that means new experiences or even buying a plant (which I plan to do).

Remember to dig deep. Challenge and push your boundaries (as if moving somewhere new isn't challenging enough). You will truly find yourself then. I’m still working on it.