For my whole life, friends around me enjoyed getting into relationships. They encouraged me to get into some or at least try. Nowadays, relationships seem to be the social norm. All over social media, I constantly see people post, “Oh, I really need a boyfriend or girlfriend!” But do they need a significant other?
Desperation has always baffled me -- that’s what most of society seems to be. It always has made me question, “Why?” Most people are continuously searching and soaring to find a partner. They believe that one person will bring them true happiness.
However, when people are always on the search -- whether it be online (which is more common today) or in person -- I find that to be desperation. A relationship with anyone should come naturally and should not be forced. That is like if I were to tell a random stranger, same gender as me considering I’m straight, “Oh, I just met you and like your looks. Here I am! Be my friend!” That sounds stupid because it’s forced.
Love, communication, and trust all take time in a relationship -- whether with a friend, family member, or soon to be partner -- time is valuable and key when starting anything.
In my opinion, it is a good thing to go on a few dates here and there with different people whom you are interested in. Dating helps you get to know a person better and see if the person is a potential candidate. Dating does not make you a player! It does not because you are currently not committed to that person. You are simply trying to see what you like and don’t like. There are simply some people who don’t vibe well with you, and that’s fine, too. What matters most is that you gave it a shot and had a good time with that person.
It’s always better off to start off as friends. There have been plenty of times in my life in which guys wanted to jump right into a relationship. They would instantly start cuddling; holding hands; you name it! My reaction is always, “Bro! You don’t even know me!”
In my opinion, if you jump right into something, the relationship (as a friend, that is) will end right before it begins! You must communicate in order to get to know someone. Ask deep questions about the person. The person does not have to tell you everything about his or her personal life, but opening up and talking about life is key to a great start.
If you want to jump right into a relationship, that’s great. I don’t judge. Some people enjoy jumping right into a relationship for some reason. If another person makes you happy, then so be it. But in my opinion, you must first learn how to make yourself happy instead of expecting to rely on others to make you happy. That’s a disaster in the making and will lead to big fights and arguments in the future.
Also, in today’s society, you never know what to expect with someone. A person can tell you a million things about his or her life. Months or years down the road, the truth will always come out. How can you trust anyone anymore? How can you be sure someone is real?
I once tried dating this person and figured out we had so much in common. Months down the road, it turned out that everything he told me was a lie. He told me all those things just to get me to like him. If he told me straightforward in the beginning who he really was, I wouldn’t have minded because I know everyone is different and I respect others’ differences.
I’ve never been so hurt in my life. It felt like my world was crashing down and I didn’t know who to trust anymore. If anything, I’m happy we never really did anything in the relationship -- it was all just talk. Actions speak louder than words -- it’s the truth! If you don’t see it, then don’t believe it!
My story made me cold deep inside. I don’t know who to believe anymore. When someone tells me something, I now view it to be a possibility or a half belief. I tend to give others the benefit of the doubt. I want to believe the person because I just met the friend or potential partner; but the other part of me does not want to be 100 percent gullible because I don’t want to get hurt again. Also, the world is full of liars -- white lies, straight lies, you name it, but a lie will always be a lie!
As of today, I continue to live my life as I am and who I am. I can date who I want; when I want; where I want; and if things don’t work out, that’s OK, too. Dating is supposed to be fun -- nothing too serious. No one says I don’t have to stop being friends with the guy. There will always be some things that just don’t click with me and other guys and that’s fine, too.
So for now, I will continue searching freely. But for now, I will take my time. I’m never in a rush to commit. In fact, commitment has always scared me. It hinders my free spirit, free soul to simply live life without worrying about a clingy person. Living free with no worries and no regrets is definitely the life for me!
If I find the person who matches my vibe, then great. I’m sure it will someday. But for now, I’m going to live my life my way with no one in the way. I’m going to finish up college soon, grab that degree, and travel and explore the world to the fullest it can be! I know who I am and no one can tell me otherwise -- and that, my friend, is the ultimate freedom of living.
