As children, we have this idea of what a relationship and love is supposed to be. For me, it was waking up to have coffee, spending the day together, and cooking for each other. There's hand holding, kisses, and a lot of smiles. But as we grow up, I think we begin to see that it's not all that simple. There's a lot more that goes into keeping a relationship alive. You have to be able to function in the "real world" just as well as you functioned in the "honeymoon" stage.
When a relationship begins, everything is easy. Everything seems absolutely perfect. But as time goes on, you realize that the relationship is going to take a lot more work. You have to keep doing what you did to get the person, in order to keep them. Many of us forget that. Things like work, or school, begin to get in the way. You have to physically make time for each other. You have to wake up every day and choose to show your love for them. It does not always come as a natural connection. You're not going to always be happy. Arguments happen and you'll probably want to walk away. But, in choosing to love each other, you choose to fight for your relationship. You choose to work hard for each other.
It seems a little sad, when you think of it, that you have to choose to love them. That you have to choose every day to stick it out for the relationship you've put so much time and effort into. But, it's not anything new. This is a concept that becomes prevalent in almost any adult relationship. You have to tell yourself that it's worth it to keep fighting, and that's normal. It's fine. Relationships are not easy; that's okay. They are supposed to take a lot of work.
This doesn't have to change our perception of what a relationship is supposed to be. When you grow up and have kids, you can make that part of your job in the relationship: show your kids the happy parts of the relationship. Show your kids or whoever that even as time goes on, you can still find that happiness and that effortless part of love. Show them, and yourselves, that you can still feel that spark from the "honeymoon" stage twenty years later. Show each other that you can, and will, work hard to love and fight for the relationship.
