Relationships today have evolved quite a bit from the days of our parents or grandparents. Letters have turned into texts, dates have turned into 'Netflix and chill', and dating has turned into hooking up. Social media has given rise to many trending 'relationship goals', and while some of them are actually super cute, some of them are just plain pathetic. What you think is a perfect relationship could actually end up driving you apart in the long run. If any of these are your goals, you may need to re-think your relationship.
You're together 24/7.
If you're that couple, then let me tell you right now that everyone is sick of you. The reason you have no followers on social media is because no one cares about the adorable things you guys do every day, and the reason no one ever asks you to hang out is because they're sick of being the third wheel. ALONE TIME IS HEALTHY. Having separate interests is okay. I promise, the world will not end if you spend a few days apart to hang out with your other friends and family. One person can't fulfill all of your needs, and if you try to make them do so, it's eventually going to turn into a lot of resentment.
They pay for everything.
Dinner and a movie can add up pretty quickly (especially if you're getting popcorn, soda, and candy). Money doesn't grow on trees and your date's wallet isn't bottomless. Offer to split the tab or even treat them for a change. This is the 21st century, and men and women are supposed to be equals! Which means you both need to pay your fair share.
They buy you tons of fancy gifts.
Surprising you with flowers and clothes and jewelry every week is nice, but not everyone is made of money. As cute as those pictures on Twitter of the huge stuffed dogs and dresses are, there are plenty of other ways to express your affection. Write them a note, or plan a surprise visit. Quality time is way more valuable than a pair of earrings you're only going to wear twice.
They don't talk to members of the opposite sex.
Unless you live under a rock, or go to a unisex school, you're going to have to interact with members of the opposite sex. In fact, the majority of us have good male and female friends. That's life. It's impossible to monitor every single one of your boyfriend's or girlfriend's relationships, and you shouldn't need to. Try a little trust. After all, trust is one of the key components of a healthy relationship. If you can't trust them to talk to or be friends with members of the opposite sex, then you need to re-evaluate your relationship. Just because they talk to someone doesn't mean they're going to sleep with them.
Netflix and chill.
I'm sorry, but "Netflix and chill" should not be any sort of goals. Actually, I'm not sorry, because if all your relationship consists of is Netflix and chill, then you don't have an actual relationship. Get up off the couch and do something together! Talk to each other! Be a couple! Not a pair of couch potatoes.
You're, like, totally the exact same person.
What happened to opposites attract? Obviously the two of you will have to agree on the important things, but you don't need to have the exact same opinions on everything. Everybody is different, and it's okay if you don't like all the same foods or the same kinds of movies.You can pick the date this weekend, and they can pick the activity next weekend, etc. If you think you're going to be able to float along and never disagree on anything, then you're just setting yourself up for failure. Which brings me to my next point...
You never fight.
This one's a fine line. Fighting all the time isn't a good sign, but the occasional feud can be healthy. Bottling up your anger and being passive aggressive with your partner isn't going to solve anything. Communication is key, and if you aren't comfortable enough with the other person or secure enough in your relationship to tell them what's up, you may need to reevaluate. Getting through an argument together not only makes you both feel better, but it can strengthen your relationship as well.
You think they ALWAYS know what you're thinking.
More often than not, someone you're that close with will be able to read your moods. But they're not mind readers, so if you're not saying anything, you can't always expect them to correctly interpret your silence. Don't just drop a ton of hints that you think are obvious because chances are they're not that obvious to the other person. Instead, if you have a problem or just want someone to listen to you, speak up, or they aren't going to know what you want/need.
They send cute texts EVERY morning/night and call EVERY night.
Yes, communication is key in a healthy relationship. But people get busy, so don't fault your girlfriend or boyfriend if they're a little lax on the texting once in a while! If you need to study for a test or write that 7 page paper that's due tomorrow, set aside a little time to chat over the phone that night or the next day, and turn your phone off to get your work done. A little mystery keeps things exciting.
They will drop anything for you no matter what.
If it's something important, then yes, you should expect them to be there for you. But you can't expect your significant other to put their life on hold every time you think you need to talk. You need to respect that they have their own life and their own things to do. So ask yourself, is it really worth it? Can it wait? Wait until they're available, or grab a friend instead.
Of course, everyone is unique, and every relationship is different. There are many factors involved, and what works for one couple may not work for another. But if you're having some problems in your relationship, you may need to take a minute and think about your goals. Some of the things we think we want in our relationships may not really be what we need.
