How To Make The Most Of Your Sorority Relationships

Your Relationship With Your Sorority Is Like Any Relationship, You Have To Work At It

Just like with your best friend or your mom, the relationship with your sorority and sisters will have highs and lows, but that isn't always a bad thing.

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Bid day often feels like Christmas Day, only in the days beforehand, instead of staying up late wondering what Santa brought them, PNMs scurry from sorority house to sorority house trying to impress everyone with their accomplishments and best smiles.

Long, vocal chord straining days or even weeks of anticipation, anxiety and longing finally come to an end. You run home to a sorority and a new sisterhood. You're overwhelmed by the gifts, cheers and love.

You're so busy celebrating that there's no time to think until you're alone trying to scrub out all of the sparkles from your hair.

Then the thoughts start creeping in.

Am I happy I got a bid from this sorority? Would I feel better in another one? Are my new sisters really my type of people?

You start doubting everything Greek related and the next few days don't always help. One would like to think that from the second you join a sorority you become smothered by love and attention, but instead, sometimes it feels like nothing has changed since you became a sorority girl. Where did the magic go?

But then you find it. You find friends and get a big, and go to your first function. Soon you get wrapped up in wonderland.

Is that normal? It didn't feel so to me, but then I realized many of my sisters and other Greek women have felt the same way.

Being in a sorority isn't always glitter and T-shirts. Just like you don't always love your major or best friend, sometimes you'll distance yourself from your sisterhood.

Does that mean you're a bad sister, or that you should drop? Not necessarily. As in the saying "you have to be a friend to have a friend," you have to meet your sisters half way. Being active in your sorority will remind you why you fell in love with it in the first place.

You joined for a reason, you just have to remind yourself what that reason is. Go to events, serve with your philanthropy or just get coffee with a sister and see if that helps. Try something you've never done before. There may be a new best friend or favorite past time waiting to be found.

Don't forget your executive council is also there for a reason. They obviously love the sisterhood and want to help you. Talk about your concerns and see what can be done. Like I said above, many people also struggle with this.

At the end of the day, Greek Life isn't everything. Fulfill yourself in outside activities and friendships. Your happiness is more important than a title.

Don't beat yourself up if your relationship with your society feels like a rollercoaster. You're not alone, and there are some easy fixes you can make that will help get things back to normal.

You are surrounded by like-minded women who also share a passion and ambition you identify with. While you may not always be totally in love within, your sorority is there for you.

If you give to your sorority, it will give back to you.

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I'm The Girl Without A 'Friend Group'

And here's why I'm OK with it

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Little things remind me all the time.

For example, I'll be sitting in the lounge with the people on my floor, just talking about how everyone's days went. Someone will turn to someone else and ask something along the lines of, "When are we going to so-and-so's place tonight?" Sometimes it'll even be, "Are you ready to go to so-and-so's place now? Okay, we'll see you later, Taylor!"

It's little things like that, little things that remind me I don't have a "friend group." And it's been like that forever. I don't have the same people to keep me company 24 hours of the day, the same people to do absolutely everything with, and the same people to cling to like glue. I don't have a whole cast of characters to entertain me and care for me and support me. Sometimes, especially when it feels obvious to me, not having a "friend group" makes me feel like a waste of space. If I don't have more friends than I can count, what's the point in trying to make friends at all?

I can tell you that there is a point. As a matter of fact, just because I don't have a close-knit clique doesn't mean I don't have any friends. The friends I have come from all different walks of life, some are from my town back home and some are from across the country. I've known some of my friends for years, and others I've only known for a few months. It doesn't really matter where they come from, though. What matters is that the friends I have all entertain me, care for me, and support me. Just because I'm not in that "friend group" with all of them together doesn't mean that we can't be friends to each other.

Still, I hate avoiding sticking myself in a box, and I'm not afraid to seek out friendships. I've noticed that a lot of the people I see who consider themselves to be in a "friend group" don't really venture outside the pack very often. I've never had a pack to venture outside of, so I don't mind reaching out to new people whenever.

I'm not going to lie, when I hear people talking about all the fun they're going to have with their "friend group" over the weekend, part of me wishes I could be included in something like that. I do sometimes want to have the personality type that allows me to mesh perfectly into a clique. I couldn't tell you what it is about me, but there is some part of me that just happens to function better one-on-one with people.

I hated it all my life up until very recently, and that's because I've finally learned that not having a "friend group" is never going to be the same as not having friends.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who Float Between Friend Groups

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I'm A Sorority Girl And A ROTC Member, It's The Best Of Both Worlds

Instead of only being in ROTC or only being involved in Greek life, why not be part of both?

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I feel like I live a double life. Some weekends I spend going to date parties and sports games. Other weekends, I am stuck in a field doing land navigation and eating MREs (Meals Ready to Eat). A friend once described this lifestyle as having "multiple hats." She explained it as you have a hat for each different part of your life. For example, my main difference is my ROTC and sorority hat.

ROTC stands for Reserve Officer Training Corps. In the short term, this means that I am training to be an Officer in the United States Army. When I graduate college, I will then start my career in the Army. The way I present my "ROTC hat" now is going to determine my career later on. My hat shows me I have to be motivated and strict. My obligations include dedicating my mornings, class time, and extra volunteer hours to ROTC. Being up at 5 a.m. three days a week and taking 21 credit hours my second semester of college is a perfect example of why I have to stay motivated and strict on my self.

Being in a sorority, however, is the perfect breath of fresh air that helps me stay sane. It is a support system and friendship. My sorority helps me realize that college is supposed to be a fun life experience, not just a step in life. My "sorority hat" is carefree and fun. Although I am very busy with my other obligations, my sorority makes it easy to stay involved with date parties and philanthropy events.

In my position, I have been very overwhelmed trying to be successful with every hat I put on. Coming into college, I was very skeptical about sorority recruitment because I was worried about not being able to juggle it all. I am here now finishing up my freshman year of college, so thankful I pushed myself to be completely submerged in involvement. Being as involved as I am has helped me gain best friends as well as great memories.

I have been pushed to the limit these past two semesters, but it shows me what I am capable of. Finishing my freshman year, I am more confident in myself and what I want in life. Having these obligations has helped me develop time management skills. With the help of my two hats, I stay level headed and they have helped me realize that I can be who I want to be. Just because I am in ROTC does not mean I have to fit in a cookie cutter shape of being a cadet, just like being in a sorority does not mean I am a reflection of the stereotype of sorority girls. Just in my first year of college, I have already learned so much from both of these organizations and they have helped me develop into who I am today.

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