Your Relationship With Your Sorority Is Like Any Relationship, You Have To Work At It

Your Relationship With Your Sorority Is Like Any Relationship, You Have To Work At It

Just like with your best friend or your mom, the relationship with your sorority and sisters will have highs and lows, but that isn't always a bad thing.


Bid day often feels like Christmas Day, only in the days beforehand, instead of staying up late wondering what Santa brought them, PNMs scurry from sorority house to sorority house trying to impress everyone with their accomplishments and best smiles.

Long, vocal chord straining days or even weeks of anticipation, anxiety and longing finally come to an end. You run home to a sorority and a new sisterhood. You're overwhelmed by the gifts, cheers and love.

You're so busy celebrating that there's no time to think until you're alone trying to scrub out all of the sparkles from your hair.

Then the thoughts start creeping in.

Am I happy I got a bid from this sorority? Would I feel better in another one? Are my new sisters really my type of people?

You start doubting everything Greek related and the next few days don't always help. One would like to think that from the second you join a sorority you become smothered by love and attention, but instead, sometimes it feels like nothing has changed since you became a sorority girl. Where did the magic go?

But then you find it. You find friends and get a big, and go to your first function. Soon you get wrapped up in wonderland.

Is that normal? It didn't feel so to me, but then I realized many of my sisters and other Greek women have felt the same way.

Being in a sorority isn't always glitter and T-shirts. Just like you don't always love your major or best friend, sometimes you'll distance yourself from your sisterhood.

Does that mean you're a bad sister, or that you should drop? Not necessarily. As in the saying "you have to be a friend to have a friend," you have to meet your sisters half way. Being active in your sorority will remind you why you fell in love with it in the first place.

You joined for a reason, you just have to remind yourself what that reason is. Go to events, serve with your philanthropy or just get coffee with a sister and see if that helps. Try something you've never done before. There may be a new best friend or favorite past time waiting to be found.

Don't forget your executive council is also there for a reason. They obviously love the sisterhood and want to help you. Talk about your concerns and see what can be done. Like I said above, many people also struggle with this.

At the end of the day, Greek Life isn't everything. Fulfill yourself in outside activities and friendships. Your happiness is more important than a title.

Don't beat yourself up if your relationship with your society feels like a rollercoaster. You're not alone, and there are some easy fixes you can make that will help get things back to normal.

You are surrounded by like-minded women who also share a passion and ambition you identify with. While you may not always be totally in love within, your sorority is there for you.

If you give to your sorority, it will give back to you.

Popular Right Now

An Open Letter to the Best Friend I Didn't See Coming

Some people come into your life and change you forever—thanks, bestie.

Dear best friend,

I wasn't expecting you when God placed you in my life. I had my friends. I had my people. I wasn't exactly open to the idea of new meaningful friendships because I had the ones I needed, and it didn't seem like I really needed anybody new.

Thank God that was false. Sometimes you meet people and you just know that you're going to be good friends with. Sometimes you meet people and you realize that there is no such thing as chance. I think God has a funny way of making it seem as if the things that happen to us are by chance, but honestly, that’s a load of crap. If the biggest moments of our lives were left up to chance, then I believe that would make God out to seem as if he didn’t care. It would make it seem as if He was truly abandoning me and making me face some of my most important seasons fully isolated. But you, best friend, are a true testament to the fact that God doesn’t just leave such important aspects up to chance. Thank you for taking a chance on our friendship, and thank you for allowing me to take a chance on what I didn’t realize would be the most impactful friendship in my entire life.

Thank you for being real with me. Thank you for not sugar coating things. Thank you for telling me when I have a bad attitude. Thank you for loving me through my mistakes. Thank you for supporting me in my decisions, even if it isn’t always the decision you would make. Thank you for wanting the best for me, and for making that your true intent behind the words that you say to me, whether they be constructive criticism or encouragement.

Thank you for being a goof with me. Thank you for putting me first. Thank you for seeing the importance of our friendship. Thank you for making time in your schedule for us to just sit and do homework, eat Mexican food, or sit on the porch and listen to music that emotionally wrecks you.

You’re one of a kind. You’re a shoulder to lean on. You’re a safe place. You’re a free spirit. You’re rough and tough, but your heart melts for the people you love and it’s obvious. You’re more than meets the eye. You are worth getting to know. You are worth loving. You pursue people. You are passionate about your future. You are everything that a person needs, and I really thank God that for some reason you continue to choose to be in my life. Thank you for literally dragging me up my mountains of fear when I want to stay exactly where I am at and wallow in the sadness. You bring joy—true joy—wherever you go. You are my best friend, confidant, and biggest fan. You will be the Maid of Honor, Godmother, and fun Aunt.

I used to think lifelong friendships weren’t really a thing. It just seemed like people always grew apart and forever was never a point that was attainable. Best friends forever is a cliché phrase that is continuously overused nowadays (sometimes, I even used to make light of it), but thanks for making that a reality. You are truly the best friend I could have asked for. So thank you for it all. You make life more fun, and I couldn’t thank God more for making an incredible human, friends with me.

I love you, pal!


Cover Image Credit: Julia Dee Qualls

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

No Matter How Much You Flaunt Your Letters, Greek Life Does Not Define You

Do what makes you happy, not what everyone else is doing.


As a student at a university with a major sorority and fraternity presence, I know that those unaffiliated, like myself, can't help but wonder if there's something that we're missing out on. Seeing everyone walk around flaunting their letters can make a non-member feel a little left out. I have been told straight to my face "you're going to regret it if you don't rush." But, in all honesty, I don't.

Now, don't get me wrong, being a part of a sorority or a fraternity sounds incredibly fun. With formals to hold, fundraising events to be a part of, "sister photo shoots" to have, and socials to go to, there never seems to be a dull moment for a Greek life member. Not to mention, those affiliated say they have made their absolute best friends through their sororities or fraternities. My friends that are a part of Greek life are always gloating about it, and I can see why. I joined my past roommate at one of her sorority formals and I genuinely had a ball being able to dress up and pretend it was prom again.

However, as wonderful as all of this is, you don't need to be a part of Greek life in order to have THE college experience. Having letters on your shirts does not mean you are any better or any worse of a student than those without them. The letters do not define you.

As an unaffiliated college student, I have still been able to find my group of "forever friends," join clubs, spend nights out, and get an education (since that is, after all, what we're all here for). As cool as it is to be able to stick Greek letters on the back of your laptop, for me, it just leaves more room for stickers of Harry Styles.

Thankfully, college is a lot different than high school — there aren't really any cliques or status rankings. So, if you aren't a part of Greek life, that does not automatically put you at the bottom of the social ladder. At the end of the day, your affiliation does not matter at all. Instead of using a sorority or fraternity as a resumé booster, unaffiliated students can fill those blanks with other work, internship, volunteer, or extracurricular opportunities.

Sure, being a Greek life member may allow you to network and get connections for future careers, but it isn't the only way to do

so. Employers will not pick those in a fraternity over those who are not. They simply look for well-rounded individuals who are involved in something.

So, whether or not you're a part of a sorority or fraternity, I applaud you for making your own decisions and hopefully taking the college route that you wanted to. It does not matter what you are affiliated with, as long as it makes you happy. Otherwise, you aren't missing out on anything special.

Related Content

Facebook Comments