No, Mr. WSU Frat Boy, My Sorority Sisters Are Not "Buffet Like Food"

No, Mr. WSU Frat Boy, My Sorority Sisters Are Not "Buffet Like Food"

To the boys involved with the trending "Buffet Date Dash" — I'm disgusted.
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Early Wednesday morning, I saw a tweet that rocked my world.

This came from my university. I am a Tri Delt. I am disgusted.

In what world is this OK? Who woke up one day and decided it was appropriate for young men boys to speak like this?

I read this post several times, just to really process it all. "I Don't mean buffet food so get those Tri delts and Adpi's out of your head (unless you're about that in which case I say send it and wish you the best)."

What. The. Hell.

To the boys, who wrote this, who liked this, who support this — I hope you realize how filthy and appalling your behavior is. I do not believe that all of your "brothers" are like this, and it is sad to know all of them will wear this reputation for the rest of their college days.

But what is even more upsetting is the message behind this. I'd quote it, but I'm sure you can read it a few more times yourself.

This is NOT OK. Nothing about this is "normal" or "acceptable."

The honest truth? This is the type of thing that gets fraternities and sororities shut down. This is the culture that allows boys to shove more and more alcohol down members' throats, all in the name of "brotherly fun." This is the type of post that drives beautiful young women to drink more, to eat less, to forget who they are so maybe, just maybe, they can be seen as something other than "buffet like food" in the eyes of their peers.

Hazing is not tolerated at WSU. It says so, right on the WSU Center for Fraternity and Sorority Life website.

Bullshit.

There is hazing at WSU, but nobody gives a damn. There is hazing all over the U.S. in Greek chapters, sports teams, clubs, elite organizations, and much more. Hazing is everywhere, but nobody wants to do anything about it. It is a tradition. It's not that bad. BetaApplePie hazes more, so the other chapters are fine.

No.

This? It has to stop.

We are putting people's lives at risk. People are dying, and for what? To prove they are a true brother or sister for the next four years of their life? I don't think so.

When I went into recruitment, I told myself I wouldn't tolerate any behavior that remotely resembled hazing or peer pressure. I received a bid, I pledged, I went through initiation, I initiated my own littles, my littles initiated their littles and never, not once, was I told or made to do something I did not want. Never.

Guess what? I am just as loyal to my chapter and my sorority sisters as any other chapter on my campus. I didn't have to prove anything. I just had to be myself. You don't have to haze members to create a bond.

This screenshot is blowing up Twitter and Facebook, and I don't know what is going to happen in the next few days. After behavior like this, it makes me scared for anybody to set foot in their house again. Even if this was a "joke" or just the actions and words of a few, it still is coming from members of this chapter and members of my Greek community.

This chapter is not alone. Parties like this happen all the time, and not just at WSU. Girls are nothing more than a prize to take home and to tell the boys about. Drugs and alcohol are the only two food groups. Consent...what is consent? If they don't say no, they must mean yes.

We have to stop.

I do not think that clearing all college campuses of fraternities and sororities is the solution. There is good that comes out of chapters, and there are so many amazing people in them for all the right reasons.

What I am saying, though, is that this culture and this behavior have to come to an end. There need to be expectations and limits, as well as consequences for neglecting them. We have to stop turning a blind eye to the things we don't want to deal with. This has to stop.

To all my Tri Delt and ADPi ladies, f*ck them. You are so much more than what trashy frat boys think of you. You are strong, independent women, and you don't need that in your life.

Change and progress start with all of us. Let's get started. We have a lot of work to do.

***

After writing this, the chapter released a statement apologizing for the actions of the member responsible for this post. While I am thankful they made this statement, it is still important that we all realize there is so much more to this issue than just this one member in this one situation.

Cover Image Credit: flickr

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13 Summer Struggles Only Thick Girls Understand

Chafing. So much chafing.

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Summer is a lovely time. A time of cookouts, swimming, and sunny weather. But if you're a " thick girl," summer sometimes brings more unpleasantries than it does for slimmer women. No matter how beautiful and confident you are in your body, it can bring some struggles.

1. The living hell that is shorts-shopping

Step 1: Find the biggest size the store has.

Step 2: (If you can even get those on): Realize your stomach is being squeezed into the top, your butt is falling out of the back and your thighs are having the life squished out of them.

Step 3: Realize why winter isn't so bad.

2. And dealing with them even after finding a pair that "fits"

Nothing like taking a pair of shorts home you remember fitting you okay in the store and then walking for 45 seconds and pulling them out of your butt or crotch 17 times. Truly a magical experience.

3. And every bathing suit you try on shows more skin than you'd planned

Even the most conservative bathing suit turns into cleavage-city and a non-cheeky set of bottoms turns into a thong. I promise, older people glaring at me in my sexual bathing suit, I didn't mean for this to happen!

4. Chafing. So much chafing.

No better feeling than four minutes into wearing short shorts realizing that your inner thighs are literally tearing themselves apart. Body Glide and baby powder are a thick girl's No. 1 necessity.

5. Loving rompers. Rompers not loving you.

Rompers are made with short and skinny girls in mind. Heaven forbid you're not short, and heaven forbid you're not skinny. Rompers are like a mystical article of clothing that, no matter what, always just barely doesn't fit.

6. Imagining wearing a sundress with a strapless bra and just laughing

Of course, not all thick girls are well-endowed in the boob department, but if you are, you understand how hilarious the thought of you wearing a strapless bra truly is.

7. And bralettes are a thing of fantasy

Once again, bralettes are designed for a very specific body type. One that I do not fall into.

8. Feeling like you need to constantly defend yourself for dressing like you want to

There are so many posts and tweets and just general ideals that people have that certain sized women can't wear certain clothing. You shouldn't feel the need to defend yourself for wearing a cute crop top or a bikini, but you will.

9. And always feeling looked at when you're rocking your swimsuit

Yes, I see your judging eyes, and yes, they are making me feel like shit. It doesn't matter how confident you are in your body, people looking at you like you just killed somebody just because you're wearing something typically made for smaller women doesn't make you feel good.

10. Did I mention chafing?

I just felt like something so horrible couldn't just be mentioned once.

11. Online shopping for cute summer outfits and then none of them fitting you correctly

There's always the dreaded "one-size-fits-all" for plus-size women. As if there's just one way to be plus-size. No matter how much they promise online that it'll fit well, it won't.

12. Seeing tiny girls complaining about losing their "summer bodies"

So many tweets talking about choosing food over a summer body. So many profile pictures of traditionally skinny women. I'm not saying that thick girls are the only ones who can complain about their summer bodies, and thick girls do not have a monopoly one not feeling confident in their bodies. But it is hard to see those posts knowing that those women would be glorified in their swimwear while you'd be gawked at.

13. The "you go girl!" comments on your oh-so-brave bikini photos

Compliments are nice, and positive comments while wearing a bikini go a long way. But the dreaded "you go girl" comment just seems so condescending. Just treat me like anyone else you'd see wearing a bikini. I promise, I'd like to feel like that.

Cover Image Credit: Sara Petty

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No Matter How Much You Flaunt Your Letters, Greek Life Does Not Define You

Do what makes you happy, not what everyone else is doing.

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As a student at a university with a major sorority and fraternity presence, I know that those unaffiliated, like myself, can't help but wonder if there's something that we're missing out on. Seeing everyone walk around flaunting their letters can make a non-member feel a little left out. I have been told straight to my face "you're going to regret it if you don't rush." But, in all honesty, I don't.

Now, don't get me wrong, being a part of a sorority or a fraternity sounds incredibly fun. With formals to hold, fundraising events to be a part of, "sister photo shoots" to have, and socials to go to, there never seems to be a dull moment for a Greek life member. Not to mention, those affiliated say they have made their absolute best friends through their sororities or fraternities. My friends that are a part of Greek life are always gloating about it, and I can see why. I joined my past roommate at one of her sorority formals and I genuinely had a ball being able to dress up and pretend it was prom again.

However, as wonderful as all of this is, you don't need to be a part of Greek life in order to have THE college experience. Having letters on your shirts does not mean you are any better or any worse of a student than those without them. The letters do not define you.

As an unaffiliated college student, I have still been able to find my group of "forever friends," join clubs, spend nights out, and get an education (since that is, after all, what we're all here for). As cool as it is to be able to stick Greek letters on the back of your laptop, for me, it just leaves more room for stickers of Harry Styles.

Thankfully, college is a lot different than high school — there aren't really any cliques or status rankings. So, if you aren't a part of Greek life, that does not automatically put you at the bottom of the social ladder. At the end of the day, your affiliation does not matter at all. Instead of using a sorority or fraternity as a resumé booster, unaffiliated students can fill those blanks with other work, internship, volunteer, or extracurricular opportunities.

Sure, being a Greek life member may allow you to network and get connections for future careers, but it isn't the only way to do

so. Employers will not pick those in a fraternity over those who are not. They simply look for well-rounded individuals who are involved in something.

So, whether or not you're a part of a sorority or fraternity, I applaud you for making your own decisions and hopefully taking the college route that you wanted to. It does not matter what you are affiliated with, as long as it makes you happy. Otherwise, you aren't missing out on anything special.

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