No, Mr. WSU Frat Boy, My Sorority Sisters Are Not "Buffet Like Food"

No, Mr. WSU Frat Boy, My Sorority Sisters Are Not "Buffet Like Food"

To the boys involved with the trending "Buffet Date Dash" — I'm disgusted.
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Early Wednesday morning, I saw a tweet that rocked my world.

This came from my university. I am a Tri Delt. I am disgusted.

In what world is this OK? Who woke up one day and decided it was appropriate for young men boys to speak like this?

I read this post several times, just to really process it all. "I Don't mean buffet food so get those Tri delts and Adpi's out of your head (unless you're about that in which case I say send it and wish you the best)."

What. The. Hell.

To the boys, who wrote this, who liked this, who support this — I hope you realize how filthy and appalling your behavior is. I do not believe that all of your "brothers" are like this, and it is sad to know all of them will wear this reputation for the rest of their college days.

But what is even more upsetting is the message behind this. I'd quote it, but I'm sure you can read it a few more times yourself.

This is NOT OK. Nothing about this is "normal" or "acceptable."

The honest truth? This is the type of thing that gets fraternities and sororities shut down. This is the culture that allows boys to shove more and more alcohol down members' throats, all in the name of "brotherly fun." This is the type of post that drives beautiful young women to drink more, to eat less, to forget who they are so maybe, just maybe, they can be seen as something other than "buffet like food" in the eyes of their peers.

Hazing is not tolerated at WSU. It says so, right on the WSU Center for Fraternity and Sorority Life website.

Bullshit.

There is hazing at WSU, but nobody gives a damn. There is hazing all over the U.S. in Greek chapters, sports teams, clubs, elite organizations, and much more. Hazing is everywhere, but nobody wants to do anything about it. It is a tradition. It's not that bad. BetaApplePie hazes more, so the other chapters are fine.

No.

This? It has to stop.

We are putting people's lives at risk. People are dying, and for what? To prove they are a true brother or sister for the next four years of their life? I don't think so.

When I went into recruitment, I told myself I wouldn't tolerate any behavior that remotely resembled hazing or peer pressure. I received a bid, I pledged, I went through initiation, I initiated my own littles, my littles initiated their littles and never, not once, was I told or made to do something I did not want. Never.

Guess what? I am just as loyal to my chapter and my sorority sisters as any other chapter on my campus. I didn't have to prove anything. I just had to be myself. You don't have to haze members to create a bond.

This screenshot is blowing up Twitter and Facebook, and I don't know what is going to happen in the next few days. After behavior like this, it makes me scared for anybody to set foot in their house again. Even if this was a "joke" or just the actions and words of a few, it still is coming from members of this chapter and members of my Greek community.

This chapter is not alone. Parties like this happen all the time, and not just at WSU. Girls are nothing more than a prize to take home and to tell the boys about. Drugs and alcohol are the only two food groups. Consent...what is consent? If they don't say no, they must mean yes.

We have to stop.

I do not think that clearing all college campuses of fraternities and sororities is the solution. There is good that comes out of chapters, and there are so many amazing people in them for all the right reasons.

What I am saying, though, is that this culture and this behavior have to come to an end. There need to be expectations and limits, as well as consequences for neglecting them. We have to stop turning a blind eye to the things we don't want to deal with. This has to stop.

To all my Tri Delt and ADPi ladies, f*ck them. You are so much more than what trashy frat boys think of you. You are strong, independent women, and you don't need that in your life.

Change and progress start with all of us. Let's get started. We have a lot of work to do.

***

After writing this, the chapter released a statement apologizing for the actions of the member responsible for this post. While I am thankful they made this statement, it is still important that we all realize there is so much more to this issue than just this one member in this one situation.

Cover Image Credit: flickr

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Winter Intersessions Don't Have To Be All That Bad

A lot can happen in 10 days.

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Something I think that is important to note here in the beginning is that a lot can happen in just ten days. It may not seem like a long time, but from the time frame of starting a Gender Studies class on Men, Women, and Greek Life and finishing it, we saw the rise of the new Gillette commercial, which touched on men needing to hold men accountable and stop letting the male societal development continue in this never-ending circle. But also, the death of a Sigma Alpha Epsilon brother due to hazing and alcohol abuse, which I might add got next to zero media recognition.

Ten days ago I started a Gender Studies Topics class called Men, Women, and Greek Life. I had zero idea what the class would be when I registered for it since it was just labeled "Gender Studies Topics." But even when the syllabus was sent out a few days before the class started and I found out the name, I still had no clue what we could learn about in this class other than men are in fraternities and women are sororities.

Over this ten-day period, I learned so much from how we "do gender", to culture, to ambivalent sexism, and to intersectionality. To get more specific, I learned a lot about Greek Life in the sense of pledging/rushing, relationships among women, relationships among men, hazing, body objectification, and sexual harassment. But it was about much more than what I learned in the context of Greek Life; it was also a matter of what I learned about myself and society individually and collectively.

I don't want to go too in depth about what I learned specifically.. not in this article at least. I want to focus on the fact that in just ten days, I know more about people, society, the multiple cultures, and the type of men and women we produce in the Greek system than I ever thought was possible to think about. I also saw a lot of the application of these subjects in the real world whether it was through articles, magazine interviews, emails sent out by Greek members, books like TFM, Dirty Rush, and Greek University, or real life/real world pledges dying because of the Greek culture that has developed over time.

It's so fascinating to me that within ten days, in a class of nine people, meeting three and a half hours a day, having a discussion based class experience, I learned more than I probably have in my entire collegiate experience. My outlook, opinions, perspectives, views, and beliefs about certain things have been challenged in the most educating way. I wasn't told I was wrong, I was respected at all times, I was open-minded to the ideas and thoughts that others had. I didn't have time to sit and worry about my grades, or over analyze each class period, or memorize a lecture word for word like I normally would have done for a class.

We watched episodes from the show Greek and Law and Order: SVU along with a movie called Revenge Of The Nerds (which I never would have watched if it had not been for this class). But because we watched these episodes and this movie and then had to analyze the content in relation to our class topic, I won't be able to watch a show or a movie and not recognize that there are really disturbing underlying contexts that we wouldn't notice on any other given day watching our favorite tv show or favorite movie. And believe me- I have already noticed this from trying to watch shows and movies.

What I am trying to say but is difficult to explain is how great of an experience it has been to take a ten-day intensive Gender Studies Class because it was meaningful, powerful, and at times was information that no one likes talking about because it is hard to talk about- especially on a college campus. But because of this experience, I have grown so much as an individual and as a woman affiliated with the Greek system.

So if you ever get the opportunity to take a winter intersession class, especially a Gender Studies class, you should take full advantage because you will go in the classroom on the first day thinking you have plenty of knowledge and leave on the last day thinking about how naive you were at the beginning. And I think realizing you were being naive in the first place shows a greater deal about a person than someone who believes they know it all already and don't need to become more educated about what really happens in the real world.

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