A reoccurring issue in the dating world these days is this whole “side chick/dude” mentality. Somehow people in our generation have it in their mind that they’d rather hurt someone else before they get hurt. Either that or they would rather remove themselves from a potentially good situation before anything bad happens. No one wants to get hurt, but everyone is willing to put others in the position to get hurt to save themselves.
Well, I’m sorry to break it to you, sweetheart: you’re not saving anyone. If anything, you’re messing things up for yourself and your potential partner. Everyone knows that relationships have their ups and downs, and not every single one works out. That’s okay, it’s life. You take what you get, you learn from it, and then you move on. By having a side piece, you are not giving your all to a relationship and more than that, you’re not giving your partner a fair chance.
Let’s just say, for instance, that we have a man named Greg. He’s been hurt a lot in relationships, and his friends told him the best way to avoid it is to have two or three girls at the same time. Well, Greg takes that advice and gets with Darla and Sam. Darla’s a player just like Greg is trying to be, but Sam really likes Greg for who he is as a person. By Greg spreading his time and attention between the two of them, he’s not giving Sam the chance she needs for him to fall for her.
After a while, rumors start to circulate and Sam realizes that Greg has been playing her this whole time. Sam could have been Greg’s soulmate, but since he wanted to play around he missed that opportunity. Now Sam is out doing the same thing that Greg did to her with Anthony and Jacob. This in turn invites a dangerous cycle of heartbreak and betrayal that ruins the ideals and chances for those that are truly romantics.
What I find is worse than getting a side piece would be aspiring to be a side piece. Why would any person in his or her right mind pick out someone who is already in a relationship and try to weasel his or her way in between that couple? Are these people just not happy enough within themselves that they have to make those who are happy miserable? What I’ve noticed in these situations is that most people see what they want to see in these relationships.
They get a good look from the outside of how he’s treating her or she’s treating him, (or he’s treating him or she’s treating her), and they want that for themselves. So instead of going out and finding a potential partner for themselves, they aim to integrate themselves into someone else’s happy relationship so that they can be treated how they think they want to be treated. Common sense would tell anyone to just wait and find someone that can be all theirs. If the time is right, and the person is meant for them then they would treat each other better than anyone could even imagine. Unfortunately, people are impatient when it comes to love. There’s also the entertaining, yet horrible influences of these we see on television. ABC’s Scandal shows the highest form of infidelity with the President of the (fictional) United States of America sleeping around with another woman. Most of the people that watch the show actually root for Olivia and Fitz to be together; I know I was one of them.
Even though no one is fully committed to anyone else until after a marriage ceremony, relationships are a very serious thing. How can anyone even expect to make it down the aisle if they're out gallivanting with several different people instead of taking the time to actually date? Don’t miss out on your soul mate while out getting it on with just any and everybody, because the right one can slip right through your fingers. It doesn’t matter who hurt you, what you see in other people’s relationships, or if someone else was coming on to you. At the end of the day it’s best to respect yourself, respect others, and give love time and a chance. Who knows, the right one could be closer than you think. Just remember that it's not in the form of someone else’s relationship. If you need help finding someone, you could easily get on Match.com, Christianmingle.com, or even Craigslist (if you're really down on your luck).
