To The Relationship Hoppers

To The Relationship Hoppers

To those who fall into this category, your friends love you and want the best for you.
1124
views

All too often we see girls and guys just flinging from relationship to relationship with no time for stopping.

Personally, I think this is a reflection of themselves and their need to be with someone because they can't be alone. Dependency. Or the famous "Nobody will ever love me besides him."

I don't even know how to tell them that this is such a delusional way of thinking. There are a ton of people out there and you think that guy that has no motivation to do anything is the guy that was brought to this Earth solely to be with you? That's how much you think you matter. Have some standards! You're probably better than you think and don't even realize it.

These relationship hoppers are easy to spot out as they need constant reassurance that they're loved, that you're not cheating, that they're the best looking, etc.

They can be clingy. They can be the non-stop texters. They can even be a doormat and the boyfriend or girlfriend has been out all night and they say nothing to avoid causing confrontation even though they don't like it at all.

I feel for these people but they need some standards. They shouldn't just be settling for anybody because they feel someone else won't ever love them. They're only 19 and crying about this with their whole life ahead of them; plenty of people to meet and see.

Girls and guys both have to be stronger than this. They need to be able to put their foot down when they are being mistreated and communicate about it; it doesn't have to turn into an argument but if you treat that boy or girl like gold and they do something you're really uncomfortable with, you should be able to talk to them without the fear of them leaving you.

If that's your fear, you are definitely not meant to be with this person and are just wasting your time. If you can't talk to them about how they come home drunk every night then how will you talk to them about a house, taxes, kids, etc.?

Stop settling for people you don't like that much because you think you're #foreveralone or because you think nobody else will like you! You're not doing a favor to them. You're just wasting their time and deep down you know you're wasting your own time too.

It's not fair to them and it's not fair to you. Stop half-assing these relationships because of your fear of being alone. Of nobody ever loving you. You are better than that. You are worth more than that. You just need to believe that.

The relationship hoppers really annoy me as you can see, due to their lack of commitment and the fact that every guy they meet is "the one." No, he is not, Susan, you'll be broken up in a couple weeks.

That's what I think to myself every time I hear the whole new spiel about their new significant other. "He wants three kids, just like me!" and all I can think is WHY ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT KIDS YOU'VE BEEN DATING HIM A WEEK?! YOU SAID THAT ABOUT ANTHONY LAST WEEK!

That's all I can think, but they don't learn and instead make it hard for their friends who know that their bestie is worth more but instead are wasting their time with losers and players and the guys who are also relationship hoppers.

You need to have some self-awareness and need to start to be okay with being alone.

The year that I was single was the best year of my life: I met totally new people, did totally new and adventurous things, went on vacation when I felt like it, made new friends and, overall, had the best time ever.

This is what it should be for you, not moping around that you're single and nobody will ever love you. I was totally okay with being single and sure, guys asked to be in a relationship, but I wasn't prepared to hop into a new one. I wanted my time to be alone, to be me, and to rejuvenate in my life.

I was totally happy and that's what I wish for my friends when they get out of their relationships; instead of jumping into a whole new ship, wait a bit.

See what else — or who else — is in store for you.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

Popular Right Now

To My Boyfriend's Mom

He loves you more than you could ever imagine...
51426
views

Without you, there would not be a him, so first things first, thank you.

1. Thank you for teaching him to love a woman the right way, to put God first, and YOU before me always, the respect he shows you is so attractive, and you deserve it.

He talks about you like you hung the moon, I don't doubt for a second that he will be an amazing father one day, I owe all of that to you.

2. Thank you for giving me a chance, learning to love me when you knew your son was doing the same.

I can't speak for my own first impressions, but hopefully mine was not THAT bad...when we both slapped him on the arms for his rude remark at the same time, I knew our relationship was already blossoming.

SEE ALSO: Finding A Husband In College

3. Thank you for every meal you have ever purchased me.

And chocolate, and candy...you know just as well as your son does that food is the way to my heart. Especially Taco Bell and cheesecake ;)

4. Thank you for your advice, suggestions, and opinions...and asking for mine

Whether it's telling me to slap him for being a smart a$$, or you're asking me about color swabs for your kitchen makeover, you come to me as if I am your own, and I am so honored to give you my own input.

5. Thank you for including me

You never fail to leave a spot for me, and I love family dinners/outings with you guys just as much as I love my own!

6. Thank you for teaching your son to never give up, and that if he does it is only to better himself, or it's the only choice he has left.

He is so focused on his future, he wants the best for himself, and he is constantly reminding me that these are things that YOU taught him, you deserve to be so proud.

7. Thank you for letting him love my family, and allowing me to love yours.

He is so loyal and loving to my family, and I don't even have to ask myself why because I see him with you and yours. Thank you for letting us double up on holidays when we can, and making sure we get the most out of our time with you!

8. Thank you for being his best friend.

I think of him as mine too, but I couldn't think of a better person to also hold that title, you know him better than anyone else and you always will.

9. Thank you for teaching him how to treat a woman

He is constantly telling me "You sound like my mother." Thankfully earlier in our relationship, he told me that the woman he wants to be with, should do just that. He always tells people who try, "No, no one calls me by my full name except my mom and my girlfriend."

10. Thank you for your honesty

We all know that he and I can drive you crazy sometimes, thank you for telling us like it is, and making sure we know you still love us anyways.

SEE ALSO: 8 Tiny Lies Every Young Woman Has Told Their Best Friend

11. Thank you for teaching him to work as hard as possible in anything and everything he does.

I have never met anyone with such a desire for success, he and I are constantly discussing how we can better our futures, and I know exactly where his drive comes from.

12. Thank you for teaching him to clean up after himself

Even though sometimes, it takes him a minute to do so.

13. Thank you for teaching him how to love, and letting him love me.

I have never felt so loved by a man, probably because anyone else who came into my life was just a boy. Thank you for your unconditional love for him, he is your entire heart and that is so easy to see, I am happy to share his with you.

You and I both know that even years from now we will both occasionally probably be closing the fridge that he left open, cleaning the crumbs he dropped, demanding he take a shower after playing soccer, or reminding him 20 times about plans we made weeks ago, we both share such a great love for such an amazing man. I could never be more thankful that you brought forth into this world such a comforting, supportive, protective, steadfast, driven, handsome, and hilarious guy. Thank you for everything you do for him, for me, and for us, I love you a lot!

Cover Image Credit: casey

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

The Truth About Dating A Girl With An Anxiety Disorder

She knows how annoying she can be, but she just prays you love her regardless of her flaws.

203
views

Anxiety: A nervous disorder characterized by a state of excessive uneasiness and apprehension, typically with compulsive behavior or panic attacks.

The definition makes it sound really daunting. Truthfully, there is no one way to describe generalized anxiety disorder if you have it. It is hard to live with, hard to cope with and unfortunately, really hard to date with.

Girls with anxiety are different than the average girl when it comes to relationships. That's just an honest statement, no matter how much it hurts me to say it.

We need the constant reminder that you love us, even though we know in our hearts that you do. We panic when you don't answer your phone, in fear that we did something wrong. We care about your feelings when you say that we don't need to worry and we need to be a little calmer. But it's so damn hard.

It isn't easy to love someone who worries about everything 24/7. Half the time, we know we shouldn't be doing the things we do. We know we shouldn't blow up your phone or ask just one more time if you are mad at us. But we can't help it. It says it right in the definition: compulsive behavior due to excessive uneasiness.

Being with a girl with anxiety is probably downright exhausting. It's exhausting for us to have our minds constantly running and worrying. But I promise it's worth it.

We come to you with everything because you are the one person who always knows how to make us feel better. When we are happy, you are the one person we want to be happy with. We all know the constant reassurance, reminders and the same old arguments get old. It gets old to us too.

There was never a time I wanted to have a panic attack because my boyfriend wasn't answering his phone. In my head, I knew where he was because he was usually in the same three places. I knew he wasn't mad at me because I didn't do anything to make him upset. I knew how busy he was with his classes and he was probably studying and I needed to give him space. But the little voice in my head always argued, "What if you did something wrong? What if he's ignoring you because he's angry? What if he's seen your messages and calls, but no longer wants to be with you?" And then I give in. I call, I text, I cry, I panic. Only to feel even worse 10, 30 or 50 minutes later because you answer angrily, telling me what I already knew after I did what I knew I shouldn't have done.

Having anxiety is almost like having a drug addiction. You know all the things that trigger you. You know all the ways to stay away from the bad places in your mind so you don't end up relapsing. But you do anyway and it hurts worse every single time.

Dating a girl with anxiety is as hard as it gets, but she will love you like no other. She is so incredibly thankful for all the things you put up with to be with her. Because she is worried about being loved, she goes the extra mile to always remind you how much you are loved. She always asks if you are ok because she cares about the answer and knows what it's like not to be ok.

The truth is that dating anybody with anxiety is difficult, but it isn't impossible. You get back everything you put in, even though you may not realize it. Trust me, she is sorry for being the annoying, crying, worried, naggy mess and it embarrasses her because she knows better and she wants to be better for you. But please love her. Hold her, understand her, listen to her, calm her, be there for her. In your heart, you know she would turn around and do all the same things for you in a heartbeat.

Related Content

Facebook Comments