So often young women, and men, consider the season in their life where they are single to be a burden. It's something that is frowned upon, we are taught to feel pity towards our single friends, and it's seen as a negative thing according to our society.
Why is that?!
If you think about it, for most of our lives we are single or in-between relationships. If we are spending a majority of our lifetime in these situations, why is it a "bad" thing? Take it from from the girl who never dated in high school.
Being single is a blessing, not a burden.
(Quick disclaimer: I am not saying in any way that relationships are burdens and not blessings. Continue reading and hear me out.)
This is the time in your life where you can learn to love yourself. This is your time to find your own happiness within yourself and not within somebody else.
Let me explain this idea further by sharing a diary entry I wrote in my senior year of high school.
I hear far too often that so-and-so completes me, or I can't live without so-and-so. It may be true that the person you love is a significant part of your life and a source for your happiness, but if that person is the only source of happiness in your life, that's wrong.
I would much rather be with somebody who compliments me rather than someone who "completes" me. I am a smart, funny, and a kind young woman without the help of a significant other. I know who I am already. I'm not out there searching for myself in somebody else because I have taken this opportunity of being single as a blessing and not a burden.
Think about it. Does it even make logical sense to search for oneself in another person? No.
You are your own person. You are still valuable whether or not you have a significant other. Your value and self-worth cannot change and will not change based on your Facebook relationship status or your Instagram #mcm.
Let's continue.
I will find someone to share my life with, not someone to become my life.
I don't want to complete the man I fall in love with as a person. Not only is that far too much pressure to place on anyone, but it is not my responsibility, it's his. But even more so, that "remedy" is a crutch, not a problem solver.
You should not be completing somebody else. That is their responsibility. Not yours.
When all of your friends are out with their boyfriends, and you're being the third wheel, take those moments as opportunities to learn what you want and what you don't want your relationship to be like one day.
Don't huff and puff and wonder why you're the single friend. Instead, think how lucky you are that you are becoming your own person and learning about yourself.
At the end of the day, relationships may come and go, but you are the one person in life that you can count on.
In conclusion, it can be easy to get down in the dumps during your season of singleness. You may find yourself in a relationship down the road, or you might not. Either way, you will never find true happiness until you learn to love yourself.
Relationships come and go, friendships dissolve and evolve, but you are the only "you" that you've got! Love that person!
She deserves it.
