Relationships are hard. They are often taken for granted, love and passion get lost in a world of anger and mistrust. In my opinion, the past is the biggest relationship killer. The past between a couple can be one of two things, non-existent or full of skeletons. When a couple has a past it could mean they have tried their hand at romance together before and it didn't work out. This I know about first hand. The big question is, when trying to rekindle a romance do you completely forget the past and start fresh? Or do you let it stay in the back of your mind to keep old mistakes from happening again?
To answer this question takes time. There are so many more puzzle pieces that need to be figured out in order to answer the big question in full. For instance, why did the relationship not work out in the past? Was there someone else, no chemistry, violence or abuse? Whatever it was, can you as a couple get past it? For me, the relationship ended mainly because the person I found myself dating a few months down the line was not the person I fell in love with the year before. This required me to decide for myself if the person in question was different this time around or if I was just blinded by love.
We have since rekindled our romance and have collectively decided to put the past behind. For us, the past was gnarly, but to dwell on it seemed stupid and would no doubt end our relationship. We decided to focus on the love we still have for each other and since that decision we have both been the happiest we have ever been. But is this the right choice for everyone? If your partner shows no signs of changing, the past is unfortunately going to happen again; there is no way around it. The only way to tell if someone has really changed though is to test it.
How long do you wait to find out if someone has changed? A week, a month, a year? Honestly, it's different for every person. Only you will know in your heart if this person has changed, nobody can tell you the answer, you have to see it and believe it to be able to move forward in the relationship. Wondering if the person you're in love with has changed enough to not trigger a blast from the past is something I struggled with a few times. The first time, I happened to be dead wrong, which happens but fortunately for me the second time around was a success. Both parties are actively trying to strive to be better significant others in order to salvage the relationship. Being so desperately in love that you'll do anything just to make the other person happy is an amazing feeling and I would wish it on everyone. So my question to those out there questioning their partners, is it worth fighting for?
