I'm sitting here holding my son. He's cutting his jaw teeth and he is absolutely miserable. He's been fussing for what seems like all day. He's finally asleep and I'm ready to pull my hair out. I tell myself I need a moment of clarity. I need a drink... a drink with my friends.
"What's Christina doing?"
He sighs a little, turns his head and faces me. He's in a deep sleep from the Tylenol I have given him earlier to him break his fever. My god he's absolutely gorgeous. I feel like I could stare at him all day. I can't believe I created such a perfect human.
I lay my phone back down. I don't need a drink. I need to soak this moment in. This moment I'll never get back. One day he won't need me to soothe him. One day he won't need my kisses to make his boo-boo's go away. He won't smile at me dancing around our home like I'm the coolest person in the world.
Being a young mother is a hard thing, especially when you're the only one out of your friends to have a child. I promise I didn't ask for this. Well, I won't lie, I did…just not this early. I thank the man above every day for giving me this angel in my arms at this time in my life. It’s said that God doesn’t give you anything you can’t handle. He gave me exactly what I needed at the most perfect time.
I'll turn down your offer to a night of bar hopping at the same bars we used to get so wasted in; nights that ended up drunkenly falling on the floor (which was never cute). I will turn it down for a night of fighting with my son to put on his PJ's. I'll turn down your offer to play beer pong at some guy’s house because some cute boy is there. I will do this because I want a man who respects my decision to put my son first and a man who will teach him what it's like to truly be a man. I know that I won't find him in a fraternity house. I'll turn down your offer to getting belligerent on a sunny day on the beach. I'd rather spend it sitting in the aisle of Walmart arguing with my son about why he can't have that toy, due to his behavior. I'll turn down your offer to going shopping and blow all my money on clothes, I'd rather use that money to take my son to the zoo and see him try to crawl in with the pigs and play with them.
I'll never get these moments back. My son has become my whole life. My life no longer includes meeting those drunk girls in the bathroom, the ones who cry about a boy that won’t ever text her back. There are far more important things in life than that. I won't judge you for still not realizing that, don't judge me because I have.
