Articles about boys get the most reads. They attract the girls who make up the biggest population of Odyssey users. So I’ve been trying to write my own version of all the generic “guy” articles out there: “Letter to My Boyfriend,” “To My Future Husband.” However, all of them turn out sounding forced and really freaking basic, if I’m being totally honest. At first I was really discouraged and down on myself for not being able to do what everyone else seemed to do with ease. Then I realized I’m a 21-year-old senior in college and I’ve never, technically, been in love. And I think that’s pretty freaking cool.
As a young girl I would always play house with my friends. We’d pretend to be cheerleaders in high school and we’d date the quarter back and everything would be like the movies. Ultimately that is not how life turned out. I was a cheerleader but I most certainly did not date our quarter back (who just got married to his high school sweetheart by the way). I actually never dated anyone in high school. My school was so small and I had been in the same class with many of these people since 7th grade. I had crushes on a few but nothing really came of them. I spent my high school career avoiding studying and falling in love with the best friends I have ever had.
I think there is a lot of stigma around high school and how when you leave it doesn’t really matter. Who you were in high school doesn’t matter; that part is true. What isn’t true is the infamous line of “you’ll meet your lifelong friends in college.” I met my life long friends in high school and even through moving away, finding new friends, and becoming adults we always find a way back to each other. While other girls were falling in love and dating I was playing board games in a basement while listening to the CD’s we just bought.
My lack of a standard love life followed me through my four years in college and sometimes it does get to me. I look at all the people who are engaged or already married and yeah, it scares the shit out of me but it also makes me feel kind of alone. However, I have become a pro at being okay with being alone. Being good at being alone is so important. Someone is not always going to be there for you. You are not always going to be able to depend on someone else for emotional support.
I have my friends. I have people who love me unconditionally and that is more than any boy could give me; for now at least. I don’t want to write an article to my future boyfriend or husband or lover or whatever he is. I don’t want to spend my time fantasizing about what a man is going to add to my life. I am so happy on my own and if he knows what’s good for him, he is too.
