It has been exactly one month since I was released from the psych ward, but don’t worry… I’m not here to tell all of you struggling with mental health problems that it gets better overnight, because it doesn’t. Nothing will get better if you don’t work for it.
If all you do is lay in bed and let your depression swallow your life, it will not get better. If you let your anxiety take over your life to where you cannot leave your house, it will not get better. You need to work for it. More often than not, working for it means accepting that you may need medication. For me personally, medication has been the only thing that has allowed me to have any sort of balance in my life.
Looking back, I am so grateful for my stay at the hospital. I am not ashamed of it nor will I ever be. I am stronger than ever and now realize that my mental health will always take priority over school, work, relationships, friendships, etc.
I’m not here to tell you that throughout the time I’ve been off and on medication that my life has been amazing, because that’s not true. Of course you will have bad days, days where getting out of bed seems impossible, or days where you just feel lost and out of it.
Metaphorically, Depression is similar to a person and their shadow. On some days it feels like you are inside a dim room and your shadow (the depression) is nowhere to be seen. However, there are days where you feel like you are outside on a bright sunny day and your shadow follows you everywhere.
You will have those days and that's completely okay. Just remember on those days to do your best and realize that the next day is a completely new day where you can completely start over.
To those who have experienced inpatient care, Remember all of the feelings you had while you were doing the inpatient. Remember the calmness of the environment, the feelings of understanding from the other patients, the feeling of safety and security from the demons inside your brain. Try to give yourself all of those feelings. Make yourself feel understood, calm, safe, wanted, and loved. Many times we do not see ourselves as spiraling downwards until we are so deep in the hole that it is too late to find a ladder to get out. Do not stop working on yourself; your mental health is always a priority over everything. Sometimes you need to fight yourself for your own life.
