Growing up, walking around the flower garden, or going to the bowling alley to see grandma and grandpa was definitely one of the many favorite things to do. On any given day, I'd look out of the bus window for my grandpa's silver Mercury and grandma's baby blue Nissan in hopes that they were waiting for me at home (not that I didn't enjoy seeing my mom). I grew up learning how to read, write, say the plead, and cook in the basement or the kitchen of my grandparents house and it was great. I helped my grandpa do yard work once or twice and he would hide easter eggs for the yearly hunts in their extra large backyard.
It took me a few months to realize that my grandparents, like most grandparents, were going through changes and it slowed them down. Where they use to move quickly through the grocery store lines, and swiftly get in and out of cars- they now needed help. Standing was becoming hard for them and naps became longer than an hour. I started to take the fact that they were here for granted. Choosing to visit friends instead of them. Deciding to stay home on Facebook instead of making the five-minute drive to go visit them.
When leaving for college, I thought the hardest thing for me was going to be not having my own shower. Being away couldn't be so hard, I figured, since I wanted to move out anyway. My friends were going to be busy with their everyday lives and I didn't have my old job anymore. College wasn't going to be that hard in all honesty, not having to cook or do dishes sounds nice, having my friends live with or around me will be so nifty, and not having my parents nag me all the time is going to be like heaven.
As the year is coming to an end, I definitely have a very different answer. The hardest thing is being away from my aging grandparents. Almost like a parent who is away from their children growing up, I have found myself wishing that could spend these months with my grandparents while I can. I don't think it was until the last break that I finally had complete realize of this.
It wasn't until that break that I really saw how short life is.
Last break, I drove straight to my grandparents house instead of my own house to surprise and visit them. I was so excited because they are two of my biggest supports in life, and have really helped me in my educational journey. I hugged my grandmother and she hugged back. When I went to hug my grandfather I asked, "do you know who I am?" he smiled at me and didn't answer.
I figured he didn't hear me so I asked again, "do you know who I am?" "Oh" he replied "you're Angie." and he looked away. I figured he was messing with me like he usually does as a way to joke around about his Alzheimer's. Except this time was a little different. This time, he didn't correct himself. I looked up at my mom and she gave me a sad smile and then whispered who I was in his ear.
I paid close attention to him the rest of break, and would notice him staring out the window, as if he was searching for his past, a life time full of memories slipping through his mind. I would join him sometimes and I realized that he's not going to know who I am and I need to be OK with that.
He is still my grandpa and I know that he loves me, even if he can't remember that he does. One day, I will sadly lose all my grandparents- and I will have to be OK with that too. So this an open letter to everyone with a family member that they are missing while they are in college.
I know that it sucks, but the best that we can do right now is keep in contact. Write to them, email them, FaceTime and text them. Visit them on breaks and let them know how much you care. If you can't do that, try to remember all those great moments you guys had together and know that deep down, they remember them too. The people in our life that mean the most to us are the people worth keeping around. So keep them around- don't just let them go because you don't see them anymore and most importantly, love them.
Love them for what they have done for you for the duration of knowing you. Love them for the hours they have given you, no matter how big or small, to make sure you excel in what you love. Love them for the clothes they bought you, trips they brought you on, lessons they taught you, and food they made you.
Love them unapologetically.
