In a recent conversation with a few of my friends, we spoke about the first time we could remember feeling self-conscious about our bodies. I was shocked to hear one friend remember not wanting to be picked up by a teacher in second grade because she thought she was too heavy. Another friend recalled that before 5th grade, she had already learned to hate every part of her body. Thinking back on my own life, I had memories of feeling inadequate as early as 3rd or 4th grade.
Early in our life, we begin to compare ourselves to those around us. From as early as seven years old, we have already instilled in us this sentiment that we are not good enough. And the desire to look like someone else, be like someone else.
As we get older, these insecurities only become more and more deep-rooted. I honestly cannot remember the last time I went more than a day without walking down the street thinking “ I want her hair” or “I’d be so much happier if I had her body” or “life would be so much better if I was as smart as she is.”
These insecurities extend beyond ourselves. When you already feel unsure of the way you look, having others constantly speak about their own self-doubts can make you even more self-conscious about aspects of yourself that you find displeasing. How can I be happy or even just content with myself when someone who I may view as thinner, prettier, or whatever it may be comes into the room complaining about their own insecurities?
A large part of this obsession to achieve “perfection” stems from our constant exposure to the media, where women’s bodies are constantly under surveillance. We learn to desire what the media tells us we should. We get one idea of what it means to be beautiful and start to think that if we do not alter ourselves to fit that mold, we are not good enough, pretty enough, or worthy enough.
But the media is not a reflection of reality. And the reality is that there is not only one kind of beautiful. We should not be taught that we need to change ourselves to look like someone else, instead we should be encouraged to love and appreciate all of our individual definitions of beautiful.
