Recovery. A word so easily spoken, but not so easily understood. It is a choice each person must make for themselves over and over again.
While recovering from depression, anxiety, an eating disorder, and severe trauma there were multiple times in which I wanted to throw in the towel. The chance at a better life didn't seem to be worth the countless appointments, medications, and exercises. The work was exhausting in every aspect. Not only was I mentally drained to the point where I found it hard to think at times, but I was emotionally drained. I didn't go the extra mile to connect with others; I didn't laugh when something funny happened. My emotions were numb. Physically, I was tired and lived with constant headaches. I became a world champion sleeper and an All-American napper. Recovery was hard and made me question everything I knew to be true about myself.
Merriam-Webster’s dictionary defines recovery as, “The process of combating a real or perceived problem.” To me, everything seemed real. My mind had me believing every negative thought that ever came through it. To others, my negative thoughts seemed silly, but to me they were true. How could someone tell me that my problems were all just made up when the very thing that was perceived to be false to them was true to me?
From the girl in your biology class struggling with an eating disorder to the boy across the street fighting a drug addiction, the opportunity to recover is an essential part of life for some. At the core of recovery is the fundamental idea to become a better version of yourself and live in such a way that allows you to reach your fullest potential.
Recovery comes in all different shapes and sizes. From little victories to great triumphs, each step of the way is filled with new obstacles to overcome. Whether a person faces suicidal thoughts, alcoholism, drug addiction, depression, anxiety or any other illness, challenges will arise along the way that makes one question how badly they want to continue.
For those still struggling, recovery can seem like a daunting and terrifying task. For the ones currently in recovery, it can seem exhausting and never ending. However, when you reach that finish line, the day in which you can finally say, “I have recovered,” you should feel proud of yourself. You should smile and laugh and dance and throw hands in the air because you had the courage to make a decision for yourself that not everyone can make. You fought for a better life and continued to do so even when giving up would have been the easiest solution. You are the hero of your story.
Those who have never struggled with mental illness, addiction, or anything else that requires intensive recovery will never truly understand the immense amount of bravery it takes to conquer your demons head on. Although they may display compassion and sympathy towards you, their lack of knowledge about the subject prevents them from displaying complete empathy, and that is okay. Not everyone you meet is meant to understand your life and the bumps you’ve endured along the road.
You've taken the steps necessary to turn a pile of broken bricks into something beautiful and living. Given the option of a life where mere survival was the only focus, you rejected it and instead paved a road to a new life filled with fields of fresh flowers and sunshine. A field where life isn't focused on surviving just another day, but a field in which life is focused on thriving and reaching new potentials. Life after recovery is breathtaking, but first, you've got to make that decision for yourself. No one can force you into recovery. Recovery is your choice, and I promise you a life where dark clouds no longer follow your every step is worth every second of exhaustion it takes to get there.
