Growing up involves constant life changes, which means many people coming and going in and out of your life. It can be extremely disappointing, especially because there are a select few people who you can actually see yourself being lifelong friends with, but distance makes the relationships crumble. Even worse, you meet people who you think are good people. You become close with these people and tell them your deepest secrets and personal life in detail. Whether they leave you flat or betray your trust, you realize you never want to trust anybody like that again. People are not always who they seem to be.
Therefore, the most important life lesson anyone could ever learn is to always have your guard up. This is not a suggestion of not being close with anyone, rather, it’s a practice of letting people who want get to know you and deserve to.
However, having your guard up should not involve rudeness, a disruption in your personality, or affect your daily life. Rather, it is an adjustment for meeting new people. Those who choose to continue to get to know you are the ones who deserve to know you. Here are some tips on how to have your guard up in a positive way.
1. Be friendly.
Always greet others with a smile whether you know them or not.
2. Introduce yourself.
It’s polite to introduce yourself with a smile and make yourself known.
3. Stick to brief conversations.
If the conversation is short, like before class starts or in the Starbucks coffee line, stick to a brief conversation. “How’s your day?” “How are classes going?” “How’s your family?”
4. Ask about them, too.
Don’t talk too much about yourself. Show you care about others also.
5. Put in as much effort as the person your talking to.
Don’t try more than you have to. If they aren’t showing much interest in you or the conversation, than they aren’t worth your time. However, this does not mean they don’t deserve your respect. Continue to be kind (even if they don’t give a hoot about you and your day).
6. Have fun first.
When you find yourself becoming friendly with someone, make sure it is because you two have a good time when you are together and enjoy each other’s company.
7. Wait to discuss your personal story.
People shouldn’t know everything about you close to when they meet you. Trust is a beautiful and valuable thing; it takes time.
8. You can’t take it back.
Once your reveal your secrets, you cannot go back.
This can come across as intense. Some people have more issues, secrets, and personal stories than others. This is why it is important to really love, trust, and care for the person you let inside your life. Use caution and you can make lifelong friends.
