After a rough, year-long relationship, I've found myself single once again. It took me a few months, but I've realized that becoming single again might have been the best thing to happen to me in quite some time.

1. I can focus on my wants.

I can think about what is best for me and work on the path to reaching my own personal goals. I remember, during my last relationship, it was always taking in his opinions about what was best for me, but I now see that my best option is to listen to my own heart and mind. I know my dreams better than anyone else does.

2. I'm not constantly checking my phone anymore.

I’m not expecting someone to text every day. I’m not waiting to see someone’s name on my phone. I can focus on the world around me, instead of some lit up screen and the texts that were always too slow for my taste. I remember my annoyance with your slow responses, and I haven’t had to deal with such an aggravation in months. It’s glorious.

3. I can put my time towards my education.

I want to be proud of myself once again, and I know that requires me to do my best in college. I’ve seen some couples who are able to study with each other constantly, but I know that I’d be distracted way too easily. Instead, this way, I can just shut off my phone and be alone happily with my textbooks. I don’t have to schedule in date nights or the daily phone calls.

4. I can see friends more often.

I remember I used to avoid friends because I didn’t want them to know the new stupid mistakes I was making with my ex. I was silly and forgot who was really putting me first. It was always the people who I called friends, not the man who was driving me to the point of insanity.


5. I can flirt with whoever I want.

Will I? Probably not, but I do like that option on the table. It’s a nice feeling knowing that I don’t have to watch myself constantly around men to keep one happy.

6. I don't have to shave.

I don’t feel the need to shave every other day anymore. Now, it’s just a matter of whenever I feel like wearing shorts or a dress, and I am thrilled with that fact.

7. I don't have to have a reason for every single decision I make.

I don’t have to explain myself to someone. Well, I mean, I have one less person to explain myself to. My mom still probably wants explanations for my behaviors.

8. I don't feel the need to always look good.

I can’t remember the last time I’ve worn a full face of makeup. I don’t feel the need to impress anyone anymore, so I can focus less on looking fabulous and more on getting extra sleep in the morning.

9. I have no one insulting my little habits.

I used to hate when my ex would comment on my little habits in a rude way when he didn’t like them. I would become insecure about them and try to change my ways just to please one person, who didn’t really deserve it.

10. I can sing along to whatever songs I want in the car now.

Now that I’m not spending all my free time with someone, I can take long drives and listen to whatever the heck I want all the way. I don’t have to worry about anyone judging my taste.

11. I can discover who I am again.

It seems that I forgot how to live without my ex. I now have the ability to spend some time discovering the truth of what makes me who I am. I can figure out what makes me happy, what I believe in, who really belongs in my life. I can embrace who I am, not what I am with someone else.

One day, in the far away future, I'll probably go back to dating, but for now, I'm happy on my own. It's important to realize life is beautiful even without someone to call a lover.