Have you ever taken a second to pause and look at the world around you just to suddenly realize that everything has changed? It’s like you were so caught up in your head and so focused on your own stuff that you remained frozen in time, but the rest of the world kept chugging on without you. And then, without warning, you wake up. That’s what happened the other day to me. I was going about my normal teenage stuff: college applications, schoolwork, Christmas shopping etc, and I noticed that my 13 year old brother had a mustache. A mustache! It was a light and wispy thing but it was a mustache nonetheless. I’m trying to figure out when he grew it. I’m trying to figure out when he turned from the chubby cheeked 2 foot little monster to the taller-than-me, wispy mustached, acne prone teenager.

I suddenly realized that my brother is in 8th grade now and that he must be experiencing the exact same things that I did in 8th grade. From dating, to puberty, to applying to prep schools, I can only hope he handles it better than I did. Anyone who has a younger sibling will understand the protectiveness you feel over them. There are so many things I experienced when I was my little brother’s age that I wish I could redo and so many mistakes and embarrassing moments that I wish I could just erase from my (and everybody else’s) memories. (Like middle school dances and sparkly white eye shadow.. *shudder*) However, in a way, I like having these experiences. Not only have they made me who I am today, but I have a unique perspective on what it means to be a pre-teen and can share this knowledge with my little brother. While he is bound to make his own mistakes, I find comfort in knowing that he can always come to a me, a recently graduated pre-teen, for advice. And even if my advice is terrible, at least I can comfort him with my embarrassing stories.

There is certain things I miss about having a little pre-pubescent brother. For one, he was the cutest and funniest little kid to look at. He had these buck teeth that stuck out of his mouth at strange angles and a permanent orange Gatorade mustache stuck to his upper lip. I miss having an escape for my little-kid side. It was often nice, after a long day of school and drama, to play legos on my brother’s floor or watch a G-rated kids movie with him. Lastly, I miss never having to worry if he was doing okay. As a kid, the world is an amusement park, full of new and exciting rides. And if you fall off one, the next day you forget all about it and get right back on another. You never lose hope that tomorrow will be better. You never lose faith in your own abilities because you have yet to discover your own limitations. I never had to worry about if he was happy- I just knew he was.

However, growing up is a part of life and whether I noticed it or not, my “grown up” or “growing up” brother is pretty darn cool. He now has braces to fix his wonky teeth and has replaced his Gatorade mustache with a real one. And now, I actually think we’re closer than we were when he was little. When he was young, I always had to censor what I could say around him. Now, however, I can say whatever I want in front of him. And there is something very comforting about knowing that I can say anything around him, or tell him anything, and he won’t go running to our mom. I can now ask him for advice or ask him for help with my own problems. He’s big enough now in which his threats to beat up any boys I date are becoming an actual issue. He’s smart enough now to hold his own in an intellectual conversation and mature enough to handle his anger. And while I still worry about how he will handle the terrible parts of growing up, I know that he will enjoy the good parts just as much as I did. I am glad he is growing, he just needs to shave that god damn mustache.