This weekend was Fall break for our lovely UNC campus and like many people, I went home to visit my family for the long weekend. I drove the whole two and a half hours late Tuesday night and I am so glad that I did. We spent the weekend talking and laughing and catching up on Netflix shows and discovering new shows to watch. We went to Starbucks a few too many times and even took some mini adventures. Everything was fine and dandy this weekend until I realized something: I am not young anymore. No, I am not saying I am old, but this weekend, I felt old.
I drove home in the new car that I just bought with my dog. No, not my parent’s dog, but my own puppy, who I am responsible for. I was adulting. This is nothing new, but for some reason, it felt different this weekend. I felt older. More mature. More adult-like. And I got kind of sad.
I drove to Starbucks on Friday afternoon and saw the high school kids skipping class and walking to the nearby shopping center. That’s when it really hit me: I am not young anymore. I am in college. I am in my second year of college. And honestly, that scares me to death. Yes, I love college. But I am no longer in high school relying on my parents for most things. I am on my own in a way. Yes, my parents are still there for me 110% if I needed them but the point is, I don’t need them 110 percent. I am not young anymore.
I don’t know why this realization hit me this weekend. Maybe it was the driving home with my puppy. Maybe it was seeing those high schoolers. Maybe it was driving past the hospital and realizing how long ago it was that I volunteered there. Maybe it was something entirely different. Whatever the reason, the fact is this: from this realization on, my life has changed forever. It has changed for the good as well as for the bad. I have more freedom and I have more responsibility. Change is good. Change is scary. But in the long run, change is what we need. I don’t know why I needed this realization this weekend but I know that I needed it. I know that I needed to realize that no, I am not a young high school student anymore. And that is okay with me. I am embracing the change.
