Oh, Monday, we meet again. A good majority of people don’t like Mondays because it’s the start of the week and everyone goes back to work. But for some families this time of year, like my own, we define family gatherings as one simple word: Bachelorette. The majority of the two-hour show on Monday consists of my family sitting in the living room making comments to the TV about the idiocy of the show and the obliviousness of the bachelorette. I find the escapade hilarious as a result of the awkward encounters between the guys on the show and the interesting dual dates where each guy thinks they are the chivalrous knight fighting for theirs truly. Each member of the family has something to say, and all of them, believe it or not, are so accurate they could be the commentary for The Bachelorette.
Although my brother isn’t with us, I’m sure he still says some of the same things from where he is up north because I know he watches the show too. The first person I started to observe was my sister. Although she doesn't say much during the week, she surprisingly had the most to say during this episode. I asked her why she was addicted to this show, and her response was, “I like being nosy.” Fair enough. She then also added, “The best part about it is you start to build relationships with your favorite guys on the show and they don’t even know it.” Tell us how you really feel, why don't you. It’s like that time Jimmy broke up with you and being the mad woman you are, still tell everyone you’re dating. And the best part is? He has absolutely no idea.
This brings me to the next comment of the evening, brought to you by none other than Dad. As a matter of fact, his comment couldn’t be any more opposite of breakups. He was addressing the idiocy of saying “I’m falling for you” rather than “I fell for you,” and thought this could be comparable to rugs and other floor dressings. “Jojo, I want to be your floor mat I fell so far,” I believe is what I got out of this. Honestly, he couldn’t have been more right in a show that is so addictively wrong. It’s like a girls’ night out with a bunch of divas, and this time, the divas aren’t women. After comparing love to floor mats, mom pipes up with “I knew women were caddy and petty, but had no idea men were also like that!” Well said, mom.
Ridiculous banter continues on the television and this is the time where we actually stop talking to pay attention to what is going on. “Oh look, she’s wearing her prom dress!” My sister says while she cackles on the couch over the latest ‘this is my third JoJo outfit of the day.’ What’s up next? Pretty awkward one-on-ones, tall glasses of wine, and uncomfortably funny stare downs the guys give each other. There are a lot of ninny’s on this show, and the best ones are the few who complain about each other to JoJo. “All they do is make out. Why do they do that so much? It’s dumb.” Tell us how you really feel, why don't you. My sister adds this after one of the guys complains to Jojo then takes a break to make out with her. One of the biggest issues we have with the show is the simple fact of how idiotic it can be. Sure, you have good laughs because some of the guys are worst enemies then flip a switch to be a version of my “BFF Jill…” on a good day, remember. It’s also interesting when some of the guys try to be smart on the show and make the completely wrong comments, such as “your life should be kept private and personal.” Hello? Do you even realize where you are? You’re on national television if you didn’t actually know that like thirty episodes before this.
If we have learned anything from watching The Bachelorette, it’s that you sometimes can find love in a hopeless place, with a cluster of other men. It’s perfect, really. It’s like watching a train wreck every Monday, and who doesn’t like this every now and then? Don’t get me wrong, I really do like watching The Bachelorette every Monday because it’s the highlight of my early week. And you can deny all you want that you don’t like the show, but if my dad can admit to liking it, deep down, you like it too. And if watching The Bachelorette really does teach us something, it’s that “we are all hopeless romantics.” Yeah mom, I couldn’t have said it better myself.
