Long Distance Relationships are becoming more and more common. With cell phones, video chatting, and social media becoming the new normal, more couples are willing to give it a go. Unfortunately, it is a lot harder than it looks to have a strong, working, and honest long distance relationship.
I have been in a long distance relationship for over a year and I can tell you first hand it requires a lot more work than a typical relationship. There’s a lot more to it than sending text messages with little winky faces and heart emojis. It requires planning, long nights, and (sometimes) financial strain... but if you’re doing all this for someone who you truly want to spend the rest of your life with, it’s worth it.
Through it all, I would not change a thing about my decision to get into a long distance relationship, but there are a few things I wish someone had told me before this started:
People are “supportive”
“Oh! Good for you! I’m sure you guys will make it a few months!”
Some friends do what they can to support us, but it’s impossible to know how to truly support someone in a long distance relationship unless you’ve also been in one. Strangers just think we are immature or desperate. Our relationship is just as valid as anyone else's, it just looks a little different.
We are inherently more emotional than the typical couple
Because we can’t always be there in person to celebrate each other’s successes or hold each other up during our failures we get sensitive about these things. We will sit on Skype or Oovoo for hours giggling about a funny story or crying over a poor test grade. We have to make each second count because the second that webcam turns off we’ll be separated again, so we have to wear our hearts on our sleeves (even about silly things) because this is the only way we can share these moments.
We’re a little obsessed
Have you ever asked someone in a long distance relationship about their partner? It’s a long process because we will go on and on about them. We can’t help it! We can’t usually introduce you to our significant other in person, so we have to show you a million pictures of them and tell you about every date we can recall. It’s our way of painting a detailed picture for you of who they are as a person to ensure you think of them in a good light. Consider it a compliment. We care about your opinion of them.
Forever saying “someday”
Someday. Our least favorite word. It makes everything seem so far away...
Trust is the name of the game
“How do you know that they aren’t cheating on you?” How do you know your significant other isn’t cheating on you? Trust. It’s just more obvious in our in relationship, is all.
Travel is expensive
Oh, you spent $50 on a dinner date with your girlfriend? Bless your heart.
Visits are worth the wait
From the moment you buy the tickets to the moment you see your significant other it feels like you’re floating, and when you lock eyes with your love for the first time in months, your heart flutters and your breath catches. The high that you feel permeates the entire visit because they’re so few and far between.
We’re a package deal
When we are together, don’t you dare try separating us. We are attached at the hip. If you invite one of us to hang out, consider it a buy 1 get 1 free sale because we will both show up.
The end always comes too soon
“Don’t go...” “I don’t want to...”
It does not matter how much time we spent together during the visit... it’s never enough. We blink and it’s over.
Airport personnel hate us
When we are saying goodbye after a visit, it is a painful, tearful, and time-consuming process... and airport employees hate it. They watch us standing there in each other’s arms sobbing and instead of giving us sympathetic glances like most everyone else, they sneer and roll their eyes. What they don’t know is that it will be at least 2 months until we see each other again. So who cares? If we can wait 2 months to see each other again, they wait 10 minutes for us to say goodbye.
We don’t always know when we will see each other again
Really. Sometimes we don’t even have a clue. And it makes the separation so much harder.
Post-visit separation anxiety is totally a thing
When you return home alone and see the glass they drank out of, or that the chips they had for lunch are still sitting on your desk or that their email is still logged in on your laptop, it hits you. For the next week (minimum) you can’t sleep well, or follow proper eating habits, or clean up their mess. If they touched it, it has become sacred to you and must be preserved. Your entire home will become a shrine to your significant other until you can force yourself to clean up and return to normal.
Post-visit video chat
So you’ve been apart for a few days and you wanna video chat again? Fair warning: it hurts. It feels like a kick in the gut after having an amazing couple of days with your significant other physically in front of you. Rip it off like a Band-Aid, I promise it gets better.
But through it all,
We communicate better than most couples
Most couples argue over little things on occasion. We don’t. It’s not worth it. It’s not worth arguing over something silly if you only have a few precious moments with your love. Therefore, we have become amazing at compromising and it makes our relationship much healthier.
We never take each other for granted
Like I said, if we only get a few moments to spend with one another, then we are going to spend that entire time showing each other why we think this is all worth it.
We know everything there is to know about each other
Since we are in verbal or digital contact twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week we spend months at a time just talking and getting to know each other on a deeper level. We spend every second of every day learning new things and listening to each other.
Personal space
If we’re feeling claustrophobic and need a little alone time, it’s easy! We don’t even need to think about it. We just let the other one know that we want to have a few moments alone and it will be respected.
The real MVP’s
While it’s most people have a negative outlook on long distance relationships, those few people who go out of their way to show they care are amazing. To those friends who take us to the airport, who keep track of travel coupons, who take us on special trips to celebrate being together, or who just give us a hug when we miss our love, I say thank you.
Love knows no distance
Your heart doesn’t just give up because it is separated from its soulmate, and that’s what makes all the work worth it. After all, the harder you work, the sooner “someday” will arrive.
