Love isn't controlling and harsh. Love isn't ugly and brutal. Love isn't mean, nasty, and hateful. Love isn't ignoring someone, teaching someone a less, or playing mind games. Love isn't screaming, yelling, or cursing at one another. It isn't keeping someone around for convenience or dealing with behavior that you don't want to deal with just because "well I know he/she loves me deep down..." Most importantly, love is not sex.
Love is honest, compassionate, generous. Love is standing up for one another, being a best friend, and alway caring. Love is being able to sit in comfortable silence, laughing for no reason, and always feeling safe. Love is beautiful and kind.
As a 21-year-old college student trying to find my path in the world, I'm constantly learning new things about life. I have experienced love as it should be and I have experienced it as it should never be. I have seen my friends and loved ones go through massive heartbreak over toxic relationships that they just seem to keep getting into, and even heartbreak over great loves that just aren't meant to be. So as a young person who is still learning and trying to figure out how life works, I think it's important that we know what real love looks like.
Being in a tumultuous abusive relationship can ruin someone's life. As humans we want relationships to work so badly that we begin to settle for the crappy treatment we are receiving. We tell ourselves that it will change or that we can fix it. Eventually we start to think that we are the problem, and it's not their fault (usually because they are the ones telling us that). Even in the relationships that aren't abusive, we find ourselves trying to pinpoint what it is that just doesn't seem right. No one is perfect, and everyone has their faults. But the truth is that some have more faults than others, while some people just aren't meant to be.
When you find love, you will know that it is true. You will know that this is the person you am meant to be with. You may even find someone that shows you love in all the right ways, but it just doesn't feel meant to be, and that is okay. You never have to accept any love that you don't feel is the right one for you, or that you aren't able to reciprocate. Love is precious, and it should always be true. So if you feel like the love you are receiving isn't real love, isn't the love for you, or isn't a love that you are able to reciprocate, then do yourself and the other person a favor and move on. In the end, it will allow you both to find the love that you each deserve.
